My story---Blank Noise Project

As a policy, I usually stay away from writing extremely personal stuff in my blog. However, today I make an exception. For the first time ever, I am penning down extremely personal thoughts regarding sexual harrasment at streetplaces. Yup, it includes an harrowing experience that I went through. Trust me, it still seems weird. I never thought I could do it i.e. share my experience eith anyone. However when I read about BlankNoiseProject, I convinced myself that I will write about it. Well, it wouldn't just be a social commentary, but also sharing an experience that almost scarred me. I don't want any sympathy. I am writing it because for me, this is an opportunity to come out and accept what happened to me. I am writing for myself.

I still remember the day. It was a republic day and I was in 9th standard. I was all set to go to my school for the republic day parade and to attend other celebrations. I was on my way to school with one friend who happened to be a year senior to me. we were both walking and suddenly a man walking to my left suddenly came from nowhere and cooly groped me and left. I stood there rooted at the spot unable to comprehend what had just happened to me. I kept wondering what to do since I could see that bastard walking down coolly as if nothing happened. Finally I screamed, "Pakdo....usko....catch hold of him." However once I screamed, that coward ran away. I couldn't control anymore and burst crying. The friend who was along with me couldn't understand what was happening. She thought that it was a thief who stole something. I told her what happened. I don't know how I did that, but well, she got the drift. We were just a minute away from school and an autowallah came by and seeing me cry asked me what happened. Both of us stood there staring at him blankly wondering what o tell him. I think, he got the drift and asked us to hop into his rickshaw and dropped us in the school.

I went to our school ground. I couldn't bear to see anyone. Guilt and shame engulfed me. I didn't go to the place wherein my class students were standing, I did not want to go anywhere near them. Usually on the Republic day, students from all the students come to attend the parade simultaneously, it's huge ground. I stood with the primary section children, at the fag end of the line. I stood there like a statue unable to still stomach what had happened to me. All the two hours that i was in school, I had my head down. I couldn't bear to look above. I tried to control the tears which came rushing.....however I was sucessful only to a certain extent. I wanted to cry, cry loudly and badly. i was embarrased, embarrased to the core. A feeling of revulsion overtook me, i couldn't face myself.

Finally it was time to go home. I somehow went home. I rang the bell and appa opened the door. I entered the house and then the volcano burst. I just burst crying, I couldn't control anymore. i somehow managed to control myself in school. My parents were confused, they didn't know what happened to me. I told them. Both Amma and appa just looked at me helplessly. I howled, I did not know what else to do. I was all of 13. I was consoled. Later I was told, "Don't tell this to anyone haan beta." I heard it and kept quiet. I tried not to think of it and yea not to tell anyone about it.

Days passed by, but the memories did not. It still haunted me. The groping....it hurt. The physical hurt had gone but the mental scars remained. I felt guilty and ashamed. yea...I did, for no fucking fault of mine. I couldn't even talk to that friend who was with me that day. I would just change my route if I find her walking in the same road. i would run away from seeing her since I felt ashamed, she reminded me about that incident which i was desperately trying to forget. From then on, whenever I would be late at home, amma and appa would always fret. "Look, don't be late, remember what happened that day na?" I would listen and nod, blankly, totally understanding. I know they are concerned. But I don't know why it functions the way it is. I HATE IT. I am not allowed to go out late because men will letch at me, or there is a danger of molestation. WHY? WHY? WHY? Why do I live in such a world dominated by men wherein WOMEN HAVE TO ADJUST TO THEIR MISDEEDS? I still don't have an answer. I have to conform many a times that's practical. But I still wonder.

Years passed on. I was in FYJC {11th std} I was talking to one of my buddies. She told me how she was also molested in a similar manner. I was shocked. I was shocked that it happened to others too. Till that time, i hadn't spoken to anybody about it. I wonder why....That incident had scarred me so much that I refused to talk about it. I kept mum and acted as if nothing happened. Anyways, when I heard it, I was amazed as to how my friend was narrating it to me without any guilt and shame in an absolutely matter-of-fact way. Somehow that was a threaupatic experience. I realised that I wasn't the sole victim at all.

From then on, I was more alert and I became more assertive. I would scream loudly if someone brushed aside me. I have beaten up guys who have tried to act fresh. If I find someone staring, I simply go and ask them, "Kya hain? Kya dekh raha hain? kaam dhanda nahi hain kya?" {What? what are you looking at? No work or what? } Most of the times they chicken out. A cold hard stare back most of the times works. Never let them stare at you. Stare back and hard and mutter abuses.

Just two days ago, I was getting home at 12 in the night. I was alighting from the rickshaw when a qualis went past me with hooligans hooting. i stood there and abused them in the most filthy language. I stood there till they disappeared from my eyesight. The autowallah stood there and told me, "jaane do, madam." I was so angry. I looked at him and said, "Jaane kaise doon? Aise logon ko gaali dena chahiye, nahi toh aise karte rahenge." {Leave it ma'am. } {How can I simply let go? we have to abuse such people, otherwise they will keep doing it.} I wanted the hooligans to know that they can't always get away with doing everything. And that not all the girls will simply put their head down and walk away when you eve tease. But I also wonder that iw as able to do this since it was my area, my locality. The familiarity helps since if anything happens, you know people will just come to help even at midnight. I wondered if I would have been able to do the same in an unknown place. I would have probably put my head down and walked off. I cringed at the very thought. I hated myself for that. But well, that's the reality.

But what am I doing to protect myself? Well, I am thinking to join a self-defence classes. I have to learn the techniques. Coz no one else is gonna help me especially when I need the most. Self-defence techniques should be introduced in schools. It's surprisingly, rather than empowering the girls, it's their freedom that is always restricted. Che....

Even today, society views a woman who has undergone molestation, rape etc with shame. I mean, nothing is done to remove the shameful feeling. I remember a case when a group of parents had written to the school complaining about a teacher misbehaving with the girl students. The school surprisingly did not do anything. Frustrated, they gave the same complaint letter to the police. The police asked them to file a polcie complaint. THEY REFUSED. I was shocked. They told me that they did not want to file a polcie complaint since they did not want to spoil their daughters' future. "Their names and all will come in the polcie complaint. We will have to explain in details as to what happened. Many of them would have to be married in another 5 years. It would prove difficult then." WHAT THE FUCK....I wondered. But well, that's what happened. Did you see, that the victim is made to feel shameful. Even though, the family is with the victim, they never empower her to take a bold step. I understand it would be difficult. However, the step needs to be taken. Whilst doing this, the victimiser walks freely while the victim is made to feel guilty and ashamed. Weird na? I wonder what message are the parents sending to their girls? "Too bad that something like this happened. However you are not telling anyone about this coz what happened was shameful even though it wasn't your fault." ha.....bloody society. Bloody patriacrchy. I just wish the parents instill the confidence in child that despite the lack of support, one should be brave enough coz simply, it isn't you fault, child. Please, that's the best thing you can give your girl.

Despite all this, I still have to come to terms with the first experience I had. This is the first time I am writing about it. First time, i am letting even my friends know about it. Enough is enough. We girls don't ask for it. No one likes to be molested. Also we also value our freedom. Freedom to be ourselves. Unfortunately it's a battle to be fought and fight we will since enough is enough.

However, all said and done, Blank Noise project could also have men down their experiences of sexual harassment. Well, as we all know, even men aren't spared.

Danish cartoons controversy

Hello everyone... The culture editor of the Danish Newspaper Jyllands-Posten writes why he published those cartoons. {For the uninitiated, here is the background to the whole controversy}

Childish. Irresponsible. Hate speech. A provocation just for the sake of provocation. A PR stunt. Critics of 12 cartoons of the prophet Muhammad I decided to publish in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten have not minced their words. They say that freedom of expression does not imply an endorsement of insulting people's religious feelings, and besides, they add, the media censor themselves every day. So, please do not teach us a lesson about limitless freedom of speech.

I agree that the freedom to publish things doesn't mean you publish everything. Jyllands-Posten would not publish pornographic images or graphic details of dead bodies; swear words rarely make it into our pages. So we are not fundamentalists in our support for freedom of expression.

Read more.....

In his column, he justifies his right to publish the cartoons. He says, "Has Jyllands-Posten insulted and disrespected Islam? It certainly didn't intend to. But what does respect mean? When I visit a mosque, I show my respect by taking off my shoes. I follow the customs, just as I do in a church, synagogue or other holy place. But if a believer demands that I, as a nonbeliever, observe his taboos in the public domain, he is not asking for my respect, but for my submission. And that is incompatible with a secular democracy."

{with reference to the comments} Atlas asked me that there is nothing wrong with the justification. Well, the argument doesn't hold true all the time. The cartoonists drew a caricature of Prophet Mohammad which according to Islam is blasphemous. Any form of depiction of Prophet Mohammad is prohibited since it would promote idol worship and Islam doesn't approve idol worship. Atlas, how will majority of hindu community feel if pics of Lord Ganesha or Lord Krishna is used as toilet covers {its a real instance?} Well, it may not really make much of a difference to the non-hindu population. but well, of course majority of the Hindu population will be offended and will protest coz their religious sentiments would be hurt. See, there are always jokes made about religions. However, it's an invisible line which if you cross, then expect angry reactions. See, everyone needn't have the same kind of tolerance level. However if a large number of people's sentiments been hurt, then you have done something wrong. Well as I said earlier, the whole world needn't see each other through the Westerner's glasses....


The first thing that stuck me when I was reading his justification was the fundamental difference in the way the West and the East viewed relegion. I think the West fails to realise the enormity of the situation. They are quite baffled by the entire controversy and regard the whole fallback of the cartoon incident as "they-have-no-work-so-they-will-protest" kind of of an attitude.

But it is high time that they see the world with a different outlook. It's high time they see the world from an ordinary Easterner's point of view. For the simple reason, RELEGION HERE FORMS THE BASIS OF A PERSON'S IDENTITY. No one takes it kindly if there is a threat to a person's identity. When you attack the crux of the beliefs a person has had all his/her life, how do you expect them to understand your point of view of freedom of speech? Things don't work this way Boss. It doesn't. (I had posted something a similar incident few days ago.

I totally understand the freedom of expression argument. However your freedom of expression doesn't give you the right to hurt someone. If there have been protests all over the world, there has been something fundamentally wrong that you have conveyed through the cartoons to have elicited such a violent reaction. Of course, I am not justifying the violent reactions. Everyone has a right to prtest. However if you want your case to be legitimately heard, then you should make sure that your protest is non-violent.

However, when I read incidents like these {link via kiruba} I somehow get a feeling that the West hasn't made an attempt to understand the psyche of the majority of the people for whom Relegion is more than just faith. Mind you, I am not justifying the violent act. I am just delving deep into the reasons that might have prompted them to do something so henious. The westerners might just dismiss it off as a cyclic barbaric reaction of islamic community. but I think, they should atleast now try to understand the way RELEGION is percieved in this part of the land.

The bottomline is when you say that you respect other relegions, you can divorce it by saying that I don't have to follow other relegions' tabboos. You don't have to follow, perfectly fine. But you also don't have to act, comment on it in such a way that it becomes a like an insult to their beliefs, something they really hold very dear.

R K Narayan

Please, check the blogathon at the end of the post and spread the word

The first book of R K Narayan that I laid my hands on was 'My Days', his autobiography. It's a small book. It is unusual since autobiographies are usually huge. Now, people would wonder that reading My Days would have been a bad idea especially since I hadn't read even a single novel or essay by him before that. However on the contrary I think that is one of the best things I have done. Reading R K's autobio gave me an insight of his personality. After that, I could actually sense his personality even in his fictional works.

I think it's a compliment to an author and his writing skills that the reader is able to decipher his/her personality even in a fictionalised account. He simply amazes me. I could never for once fathom that a person like him existed in an era wherein orthodoxy ruled roost. Most of the typical idiosyncrasies of Tam-Brams that he has written about in the year 1950s-60s hold true till date. I can imagine how tough it must have been for him to retain his sanity amidst such enormous stupidity and pressure and still remain such a liberal minded person and also retain his honesty at that.

HONESTY--->That's one quality I thought that oozed from his autobio. But it was heartening to note that even his other novels also had the same endearing quality. For me, personally, nothing can be more appealing than honesty and simplicity. He had that in abundance. His writings are so simple, so lifelike and filled with mischief, that it almost seems like I know him personally. He is the first author who has made me cry, howl if I may add. Yup, reading , The English teacher, did that to me. Man, how can someone love someone so much.........Sigh...{Please read it guys, if you haven't yet}

This incident triggered off this post. Today, one friend of mine told me how she hunted and finally found R K Narayan's house in Mysore. She said, "The house was locked. It is almost like a ghost house. There's no one. However i just stood by the gate and looked inside." When i heard her, I had goosebumps all over. I just visualised my friend standing by thr house and I just thought she was so lucky. To just envisage R K staying in the house writing the evergreen classics is just an inexplicable feeling. Even I wanna go there. Even i wanna relive the moments that R K might have spent there. Damn, too bad, I started reading him after his death only :( One of my life's biggest regrets. However as cliched as it may sound, he's alive through his writings. and Well....I love you Mr R K Narayan. There's just no one like you, no one ever....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Blog-a-thon 2006

Marking our one year foray into the blog world, we’ve decided to host a Blog-a-thon on the issue of street harassment. No, you don’t have to run anywhere (thankfully) to participate, you’ve just got to get to your computer this TUESDAY (7th MARCH) and post your thoughts on street harassment/ eve teasing on your blog. You can write about anything related to the topic: testimonies, opinions on harassment, comments about the Blank Noise project, would all be great. It doesn't matter where you're from, where you live, or whether you're a man or a woman - we'd love to have you on board. If you’d like to participate, send an email to blurtblanknoise[AT]gmail.com before the coming Monday (6th March). We’ll add your name and blogsite to the ‘running’ list of participants on the Blank Noise blogsite so that everyone can see what everyone else is writing about the topic. Also, just to get the maximum number of people 'out' for this event - we'd request that you put up a posting on your blog prior to Monday to encourage other people to participate, and to let them know to check your blog on Monday. So join one, join all!

On our way to "No more Satyendra Dubeys" Road

Well after I had cribbed enough in this post, I would like to inform you guys about this. I want to do more than only cribbing in my blog. I have started believing that it doesn't really pay to be conscientious people in India. After the Satyendra Dubeys, Manjunaths, there comes the verdict of Jessica Lal. Read this wonderful post. Weird is the fact that I am no longer shocked at the pathetic scheme of things. I need to end this indifference of mine. For starters, I am posting this initiative on my blog. (Courtesy: Gaurav Sabnis )

Feb 23rd is the birthday of Manjunath Shanmugam - an IIM L (2003) alumnus who lost his life for his fight against corruption. He died on November 19th, 2005.

As a Sales Manager with Indian Oil Corporation Ltd. (IOCL), Manju turned down bribes and ignored threats, to do his job – check rampant adulteration of petrol. He was shot dead in Lakhimpur Kheri by a petrol pump owner and his gang.

To most of us, though we never met him, Manju is extremely familiar and is, in part, within every one of us. This is one cause we CANNOT turn away from. We have no excuse. We must ensure that his death does not go in vain.

The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust is now a legal entity with 2 trustees - Anjali Mullatti (IIML ’93) and H. Jaishankar (IIMB ’91).

The immediate and urgent focus of the trust is to take up the legal battle and ensure quick justice for the murder case. The murderers must not go free.

The broader objectives of the trust are

a. To establish and maintain an award for individuals/institutions working to uphold the values of truth and honesty in the face of danger to themselves.

b. To provide aid to individuals fighting a legal battle to uphold the values of truth, honesty or justice in the Indian corporate, government or public matters.

For updates on what we have done to date and our next steps, please visit the trust website:
www.manjunathshanmugamtrust.org

How can you help?

Firstly – funds are needed to pay lawyers’ fees, case costs, build an award corpus.. this will be a long and tedious battle. Please donate just one day’s salary for the cause.

Our first donors: Rs. 44,500 ($ 1000) from Sanjay Khanduri, Wharton Class of 2006, and Rs. 30,000 from Akhil Krishna, IIML 2003.

Secondly, if you can commit time and effort, please write in and be part of the team.

Thirdly, if you have close contacts in media, police, legal, judiciary who can help, please let us know.

It is heartwarming that so many people have already reacted immediately and generously – across the spectrum of media, legal, police and the IIM fraternity. Be part of that group.

How do you donate?

Write a cheque favouring ‘The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust’ , and courier it to:
2909/1, Raghavapriya, 3rd Main, V.V. Mohalla, Mysore 570 002, India

Write a cheque favouring ‘The Manjunath Shanmugam Trust’ , and deposit it in any HDFC bank drop box, with a deposit slip, account number 0651000091870.
Do an online money transfer , to the HDFC Bank a/c , from your ICICI /HDFC/Citibank a/c. Account number 0651000091870. 'Select MG Road, Bangalore' in the branch details.

Currently FCRA regulations prohibit us from accepting foreign remittances - we're working on getting special permission. For now, please route all overseas donations via your regular Indian rupee accounts.

We have also applied for income tax exemption for donors under Section 80 (G).

Please contact me for any further clarifications - anjali@corporateacademy.com.

Regards,

Anjali Mullatti - IIML class of '93
Catalyst Consulting

Mumbra

There is just so much written about the controversy about the Danish cartoons which depicted prophet Mohammad illciting angry reactions from all voer the world. Though this incident happened before that, it still is a bit similar to the Danish Cartoon Controversy. Wanted to share this experience with you guys. .

Three weeks back..

It was a regular Sunday for me. There I was cribbing about going to work on a Sunday. Little did I know, what was in store for me in due course of the day. On my way to work, my train stopped and well I learnt it was a rail roko. It was Mumbra station.

My train stopped and I wondered why. I got down and look around me. Everybody was confused. Nobody knew why trains were stopped and why were stones being pelted. I set out to investigate. Now, Mumbra enjoys a very stereotypical reputation amongst the general public. Suffice to say, I had never stepped into Mumbra before. Victim of stereotypical notions of Mumbra that I was, I stepped into the main road outside the station with a little bit of hesitance. I know it is downright stupid, but well, I am just being honest. For the uninitiated, Mumbra is, for a want of better word, a ghetto for Muslims. Majority of the population is Muslim and whilst walking in some lanes you almost sense a feel of time wrap. Sadaf Manzils, Noor beauty parlours dominate the setting. What I mean to emphasize here is the typical Muslim setting. However, it is also equally notorious for being a terrorist hangout. It is a generalisation; however, Mumbra has always been looked at with doubtful eyes.

Anyways, I stepped down there and bumped into few protestors. They told me that a popular English daily in Mumbai had published a picture of a woman with Koranic verses being printed on her back. They claimed that it was “Islam ki tauheen” i.e. an insult to Islam and that they are protesting against it.

I started scouring the place. I met a policeman who took me to a place wherein there was some kind of organised protest. I landed there and started talking to one person. Apparently he happened to be a self anointed leader of the motley group. Immediately I was surrounded by almost 150 ANGRY men with only one woman amidst them, that being me. I started talking to them. One thing was sure, they were very offended.

For the first time I saw raw anger in the eyes of the people. I was scared for a moment. I was surrounded by a huge mob of MEN. There I was alone representing the journo janta talking to them. It was intimidating being the lone representative of the ERRING fraternity. I could see many members in the crowd were getting agitated with simplest of my questions. Many a times the crowd raised slogans of Allah-O-Akbar right in the middle of the conversation. There were times I felt that I would be harmed by the crowd. However I think it pays to be a woman during times like these. No matter what, in a public domain, woman journalists are respected. I am sure had there been a male counterpart of mine, he seriously would have been thrashed. This is because when a MOB is angry, it doesn’t need logic to be provoked for silly things and a MOB always needs a scapegoat. Thankfully I did not become one.

It was a really funny sight. The very crowd which had brought about the rail roko were seen giving water to the passengers stuck in the train. I was speaking to some police officials when one of them retorted how the Muslim population have less tolerance level. What I saw that day was how the anger reflected a sense of assertion of their identity. Karl Marx has quoted it so rightly; Religion is the opium of masses. In India it is more so, it acts as identity for so many people. When your identity is threatened, you resort to extreme means coz then it means question of survival. The mob was spontaneous and was not held by any single organisation. The police themselves revealed that it would have been easier for them had it been promoted by any single organisation. This being a motley bunch of people from all over the place, makes matters more complicated. This is because, even if you have ended up pacifying a group of people, one can never be sure about having pacified the whole junta. A small spark can ignite a fire. I hope you guys are getting a drift.

One educated man who was seen hovering around told me how he did not approve of the rail roko. However he added, do other means achieve ends? No, unfortunately in our country, it doesn’t really help. Therefore we have to resort to unconstitutional methods to garner attention.

The publication had issued an apology. However the crowd wanted none of it. The same EDUCATED man the goes on to tell, “What is the point in apologising? This is like kissing a girl. If I kiss a girl in the middle of the road and then say sorry, it’s only the girl I have ended up harming. Nothing happens to me. There is no point in saying anything to the girl since you have already harmed her.”

I seriously felt like slapping him tight hard. Bloody rascal. I am sorry for the choice of the words. But I am abusing since I live in such patriarchal set up and that I can’t do much to change a common mind set. It’s really sad that people with such kind of mindset still exist. The notion of PURITY, IZZAT of a woman are a result of a fertile imagination of a man bred in an absolute patriarchal set up. There I go, I drift again. But I was just angry, some how controlled myself.

However later, the mob was pacified and they stopped the rail roko. One local marathi paper spoke about why didn’t they protest when M F Hussain painted godess Saraswati in nude? I am against all those actions which hurt the religious sentiments of people which ever religion they belong to. Such newspapers only bring about hated in the society. One wrong cannot be undone by another wrong. Che.

I personally feel Freedom of expression comes with some responsibility. However, even if there has been a mistake, I think every offended community has a right to protest. But, there is no point in getting violent. The whole point of protest is lost.

I again went to Mumbra few days later for another story. I met a man who thanked me profusely for coming there. He told me, “People have such a bad impression about Mumbra. Thanks for coming. I have been living here for the past 35 years and I love it.” This comment was from a Hindu person. I really felt bad that day. Felt bad because of how the mainstream media have more of less ignored them as a whole.

Rang de Basanti

I had wanted to see the movie right from the time I saw the promos. Finally I watched it, almost a week after its release. As I have said earlier, I don’t consider myself as a reviewer at all since I know zilch about the technical aspects of filmmaking. However I wanted to comment about the content of the movie, a topic I am really passionate about, something I really feel strongly about. I would be giving my personal take about various issues addressed in the movie. Ok, there are so many thoughts brimming in my head after watching the movie that I just don’t know where to start.

About the movie in short:
All the actors have essayed their roles wonderfully. They have lived their roles. I loved Sukhi aka Sharman Joshi in the movie. He is just way too cute. There was an element of Saif Ali Khan hangover. But, he was the cutest in the movie. Siddharth Narayan was also awesome. His character was so Ajay Devganish….Aamir Khan’s character is kind of similar to the one he essayed in Dil Chahta Hain. Not overtly similar, but the essence is kind of same. Kunal Kapoor is HOT. I thought he could have done with a better dialogue delivery. Personally I feel Atul Kulkarni was like super best. Amazing Actor, loved him in the movie. Soha Ali Khan and Madhavan were also good. Special mention for Alice Patten. Lovely actress. She actually spoke HINDI and emoted so well, WOW. Music is rocking. The saying, “A thing for beauty is a joy forever” just fits in so well with regards to his music. God bless you Mr Rehman, you have no idea how many hearts you gladden with your wonderful music. Words fail me to express the brilliance of his music.

My views:
I am really impressed with the subject tackled in the movie. After all candyfloss movies which dominate Hindi cinema today, this movie is such a welcome change. I felt the same when I saw YUVA. Probably I think most of the Hindi movies do not portray the youth of India in a proper manner. I don’t really subscribe to the violent extremism adopted by the protagonists in the movie. I do not think it is a solution at all.

Took a stand:
However what I loved about the movie is that it took a stand. The youth took a stand which they were convinced about. The youth in the movie decided to adopt violence as a mean to achieve justice. You know what is criminal? Indifference is; Apathy is. Indifference coupled with cynicism is a dangerous combo. The fact that the youth took a stand is refreshing enough. Nowadays, I see a lot of indifference amongst us.

Anecdote 1:
The other day I was attending a seminar wherein the topic addressed was, “Is youth activism alive in India?” A speaker made a very interesting comment with regards to Mumbai. He said, youth activism in Mumbai is not all that rampant. However impose a dress code and you will see the rebellion. You will hear voices against it. I just wondered that it reflects such a sorry state of affairs. Only if personal freedom is threatened, does a youth protest. Agreed, dress code is stupid, however it is sad that the consciousness is aroused only when the personal freedom is threatened. Other more important things don’t really evoke extreme reactions.

Anecdote 2:
The movie talks about how we have to participate in the process to make a difference. I totally agree with them. I remember a conversation I had with a friend who was a Delhi university student. She narrated to me some of her misadventures with the campus elections at the Delhi Uni. She told me how pointless it is to stand for elections if you are sincere even at a campus election. While hearing her, I was totally consumed by envy. I told her how lucky she is to actually witness the whole PROCESS firsthand. The process is a part of the system we are a part of. The more we get acquainted with it, the better. This will further help us generate solutions for the umpteen number of problems we are saddled with. Mumbai University doesn’t have any sort of campus election. The youth is not acquainted with the system. Mumbai is where political apathy is at its worst especially amongst the youth.

History repeats itself
The juxtaposition of past and the present is amazing. I am referring to the Jallianwalla Baug incident and the shootout that takes place at a peaceful rally in the movie. Well, no wonder, people say that history repeats itself. But there something about that juxtaposition that bothers me. It is real. I can’t even dismiss it off as a filmy concoction. When the government we elect becomes tyrannical, then where are we heading to as a society and a country sometimes really worries me.

Let me cite a simple instance. In Ulhasnagar a far flung suburb in Mumbai was in news recently. Acting on a PIL, the High Court had ordered the demolition of 855 illegally constructed and hence unauthorised buildings. However, the Maharashtra Government brought about an ordinance safeguarding most of the structures. The reason that was given that Ulhasnagar is a special case. Humanitarian grounds were also cited. It is a place wherein the Sindhis who had fled Sindh province from Pakistan during partition were given plots to start their lives afresh. I sympathise with the Sindhi Community, but I don't agree with the ordinance. They knew what they were getting into. No point in being linient. However what were the government and the civic body doing when so many illegal constructions came up? If you would note, the very same chief minister had ordered the destruction of lakhs of slum dwellers since according to him they were staying in the city illegally in encroached land. Ok, so aren’t the people staying in illegal constructions in Ulhasnagar staying illegally in Mumbai? Why such different yardsticks for citizens of the same city? This is a direct discrimination against the poor slum dwellers and the comparatively richer and well-off residents of Ulhasnagar. It can be anywhere for that matter, I am just citing the example of Ulhasnagar since it was a recent case. This has just set a dangerous precedent.

The reason why I broached this topic is that I see a very dangerous trend. Well, Here I see that our government totally disregarding the law is using the legislative powers to draft rules which are unfair only catering to the privileged sections of the society. This is just a small example. I don’t see lot of difference between the erstwhile rulers that we were ruled by and the current government. In the pre-independence era, we could battle it out against the outsiders, the Britishers. We could easily blame them. However this time around it is different. The fact that hurts is that this time around we can’t really blame anyone. We elected them, can we really crib? We have to fight amongst ourselves, with the government we elected. That’s not a nice feeling I will tell you. There are loads of injustice perpetrated by the Government themselves that it is not even funny. Many a times they aren’t even reported in the mainstream media. But well, all is not hunky dory at all.

Don’t approve of the violent stand
As I said, I did not like the option of violence that the youth took. In the movie, loss of one life lead to loss of almost all the protagonists. If loss of lives could have stirred the conscience of the nation, the killers of Satyendra Dubey and Manjunath would have been rotting in jail by now. Things don’t happen quickly. We are an ‘Instant Coffee’ generation. We want everything to happen NOW. That is unfortunately the message reflected by the movie. When loss of lives will not bring about a drastic change, what’s the point in violence? I sincerely believe that there are other ways to bring about a change in the society and though it may take time, we rather use them. I think that’s an incorrect way to deal with any situation. An eye for an eye makes everyone blind. I really do believe in the adage.

Final take:
I don't agree with the option that the youth took. However, the movie deserves a watch. The movie made me think, made me intrsopect. Not many recent movies have succeeded in doing that.

A request:
Anand felt that Rang De Basanti was a regressive piece of Hindi trash. His is one the most extreme negative reaction I have read till date. Anand, I would really like to know why you felt likewise. Care to elaborate? Here, Anand explains why he hated the movie.

Republic Day

First of all a very happy Republic Day to all of you :)

I got the following message from my friend on Jan 26.

“By sending this message to you, I am wasting 2 bucks when we all know that in the other side of the border, Re 1 can avail a roti. So, let’s take a pledge on our republic day…Let’s keep sending messages to each other and starve the PAKIS”

When I read the message, I just started at the screen for some time since the absolute inanity of the message took some time to sink. I mean, nothing in the message makes sense. I wouldn’t have taken this message seriously if not for the last line. It completely put me off.

How does Pak bashing justify our patriotism? I fail to understand it completely. Sending stupid messages like these just spoil the mood of Republic day. People don’t really understand the significance of republic day. For many of us patriotism is aroused only during an Indo-Pak war or worse during Indo-Pak match. Che, whoever is the originator of the message is an absolute waste mind.

Also, seriously do we really need the republic day parade? The show of the military might on the occasion of republic day bothers me. What kind of message are we sending to the world? What are we sending it to our countrymen? If the government needs to display its military might, there can be another day for it? But please stop doing this on a republic day.

I think there are other wonderful ways to celebrate the republic day. In further years to come, I am afraid that republic day will be relegated to just another formal occasion and a holiday for the commonfolk in India. I think we really need to think out of the box in order to celebrate the republic day so that more and more youth who have been born decades after the freedom struggle relate to it, symbolically. Also, I think display of the arm power is unnecessary during a republic day. Rather than showcasing our arms strength, why can’t we showcase people’s power? India is one of the biggest and healthiest democracies. India is also one of the most populous countries in the world. Why not celebrate the great human resource that we have?

We have community festivals like Mumbai festival, Celebrate Bandra, Juhu harama etc. Why can’t we have similar such festivals all over India on Jan 26? I mean we could have all the schools in India coming together with something creative. The youth of India can redefine Indianness. I mean all we need is to toss some ideas, think out of the box and well, we could celebrate republic day in a real better way. I am sure loads of you reading this post might have ideas brimming. Please do share it with me. I think a change is long overdue.

I wonder about life....

Well, off late I am talking a lot about my career. Ha....do I really have a choice, especially when I spend more than 12 hrs a day at work. Not that I am complaining...I am enjoying every bit of it. But well...I am gonna talk about something related to work only.

Few days ago one friend of mine told me, I think journos are more grounded than people from any other field. I nodded in affirmation. She then proceeded to narrate her experience as an intern in an ad agency where the prime concern for the people after a hard day's work would be where to party....well, that's not bad, I am not generalising out here. But she just felt it was more of a shallow existence. Anyways, I just began reflecting at our lives in general and over here I mean, a journalists' life in general.

We lead different lives. Every single day is different. One day I could be in a slum, the other day i could be in a highrise apartment. I am some of the very few ones who actually see life very closely. I am happy about the fact. However every day poses to me a new challenge. Some days I meet an AIDS victim, other day an AIDS victim's family. One day I meet an artist, one day I meet a pauper. One day I get a chance to go to a discotheque, another day i go to a municipal school. Still there are days when I go a little beyond Mumbai and I feel, shit, how restricted is my reporting....There are thousands of worlds which live here in Mumbai and lakhs beyond it. Not many report about that, including me. I wonder when I will do that.....one day I shall. There are days I meet a mother who has lost a baby, there are days I meet a mother whose son who tops a race. I see pride and grief in a matter of few hours. Sometimes I wonder how to cope up with such myriad situations I inadvertantly become a part of. Sometimes I wonder what it does to me emotionally. In the past few days I have met two families....one wherein one member committed suicide and one who lost her one day old baby. When i listen to them talk, I am sometimes numb. Most of the times numb infact. I think that's the key to survival. Otherwise we species come across so many problems that we would simply die if we aren't numb. but sometimes I wonder if this numbness would lead to indifference. i hope not coz that's a day I will cease to be a human being :|

I remember one day my colleague told me that he's doing a story about a boy who was spanked so hard by his teacher that he had to be admitted to the hospital. Immediately on hearing the story I went like....Oh shit, poor chap, split second later I go like....Super story man :| Typical journo talk I tell you. I sometimes wonder how insensitive I have become. All in the business I think....every thing is a story. As they say, the system has a way to co-opt u....hmmmmm. Finally I pacify myself saying..."Shobha.....thankfully you didn't go Super story and then poor chap....atleast you had the empathy to say poor chap first...."

Patriarchy

I hate patriarchy.....I hate it. i hate it that I live in a society seeped in patriarchal values. Hate it. Yup, i agree, I have full freedom to live the life as I please, but well.....I do not have absolute freedom either and patriarchy is just so immense that one doesn't even know how it has made an impact in our lifestyle, thoughts, beliefs etc.

Some time back, I was at some party wherein there was ample booze. Now there's this acquaintance who offers me a drink which I refused saying that I don't drink. He looked at me with a smile and said, "Acha hain, ladkiyon ko peena bhi nahi chahiye." {Girls should not drink} I was aghast. I asked him the reason behind such a statement. He looked at me with a look that said, 'How dumb, I am suprised that you are even asking that question :|' There was an awkward silence and then he looks at me and says, "Well, acha nahi lagta na...." What do you mean bya cha nahi lagta? Aur kisko acha nahi lagta? I sometimes don't get it. My being a teetotaller has got nothing to do with the fact that I am a woman. I personally do not like it. and I have lot of problems with men or even women for that matter who think I don't drink because of values, culture and all bull shit. This is not the first time I am coming across reactions like these. But still I am appalled everytime I hear reactions likewise.

This article surely sets me thinking.

She was furious about the reported statement of some senior police officers that she should not have gone to the pub alone or had drinks. “Girls who drink are not necessarily of loose character,” she snapped. “We drink to relax, not to get drunk. It does not give a guy the licence to rape.”

Precisely the point I wanted to make across. It is sad that in our country, even the socalled educated lot harbour thoughts like this. The very notion that women boozing is bad, unmoralistic is what promtps these stupid men to make statements like these when they themselves have no qualms in getting drunk to glory. Blooody arseholes....

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine when I casually asked him if he misses having a sister in his life {he doesn't have any}. He replied in an affirmative. But later added that, having a sister would have meant lot of tensions in his life. I wondered how and asked him. he said that well, I would have been over-protective about her. I personally wouldn't like if she had a boyfriend......I went saying.....How hypocritical :| "You can be a casanova, but she can't have a boyfriend?" He coolly replied yes and walked away. He's a nice chap but I just wondered at the varied thought processes and beliefs people have. In India, over-protectiveness is glorified. I think over-protectiveness is just a masked verion of hypocrisy, it just reeks of it. Being over-protective doesn't mean denying freedom and basic rights to your sister. What applies to you applies to her as well. But some people don't understand it and suprisingly some girls understand it neither.

Well, I have to rush now.....I just had to type this out. But more to follow later, in the next post.

Remembering 2005....

A Very happy and a prosperous new year to one and all.....Oh well, 2005 just flew by. But I think this has been one of the best years of my life with so many things that happened in my life. To share a few with you guys....

• Spent one of my best new year eve nightouts with a bunch of cool buds of mine
• My Pakistani friends finally came to India, got to meet them. Got myself involved in tons of activities. It was a whole lot of fun.
• I GRADUATED. That's a small landmark of my life.
• I visited the tsunami affected areas, a trip that will remain etched in my memory. A life-changing experience for sure. Also made couple of friends, life-long friends for that matter.
  
• GOT MY FIRST JOB. Yayyyyyy.......It was my high school dream to be a journalist. I have not yet reached the place I aspire to be. However I am content about the fact that I have begun my journey. I like the sound of it :D
• Almost made to Pakistan....well some how did not....it's fine....great experiences.....better luck next time for me....
• Met most of my favourite bloggers. Met Ridhish, Vidya, Bhai >:D<

This year has been one of the best for me personally. So many things happened, so many enw developments took place that sometimes when i sit back and think, I freak out at the fast pace at which things have been happening. My first job has changed a lot of things in my life. Sometimes I feel freaky when I think, Oh my god.....I actually am working, i actually am responsible and that certain people have certain expectations from me and I HAV E TO BE SUPER RESPONSIBLE SINCE I AM PAID FOR ALL THIS......it's a schizhoprenic feeling since am considered as this total kid and an irresponsible one at that at home whilst outside at the professional front, i can be anything but that. Sometimes I wonder where do i stand....am I an irreponsible brat like my parents think I am or am I the so-called responsible person.......oh well.....Let me not even get into it. I have my few resolutions for this year. Well, those are private ones. Lets see if they are fulfilled. I will surely blog about them when I have succeeded achieving them. But now, have to rush coz I am all sleepy. Chalo bye.....