Watta day.....

Today was the last day at work and I was so excited. But I had a crappy start to my day with a fight with my mom over a really silly thing. I left my house in a huff. I reached college only to realise that i had for gotten my purse back home. Huh!!!! Then after searching my bag throughly i gathered some 70 bucks which were in all corners of my bag. I was like ok.....not bad.....can easily manage the day. But I haven't been always lucky like this. Once i hopped into the bus completely oblivious to the fact that i had no wallet with me and that day i even didn't have the extra money. Shit.....had to hop out of the bus immediately with the driver and the conductor staring at me as if something is desperately wrong with me....... hehehehehehe....yea mere top ka floor khaali hain......bilkul...kuch yaad hi nahi rehta!. Once I got into a rickshaw only to realise again that I had forgotten my wallet. After getting at the location, I found my friend who paid for me. Shit....again.......man..... I am synonymous with Absentmindedness!!!!

Ok....back to the story.....Then I had a yummy mayonnaise roll (yummmmmm...slurp...delicious........the particular one near my college is the best) for 20 bucks. So now i was left with only 50 bucks. Then after college got over I proceeded to work. It was a strange feeling......last day at work....... Anyways as i neared the station I saw the issue of Tehelka being sold. I couldn't stop myself and I bought both the issues......(Tehelka rocks ppl......plz check out their weekly newspaper) 20 bucks gone. Now I was left with only 30 bucks.

Ok.....now I am in the train engrossed reading Tehelka. Suddenly someone tapped on my shoulder. I looked up only to see the ticket checker. God.......she was this huge female. Totally terrifying. She was kind of...well.....fat and on top of that........she had this Black coat over her which made her look devilish.

I was very irritated because I was amidst a very interesting article. Anyways I opened my bag to show her my railway pass and Lo and Behold.......................urs truly discovers that the railway pass has expired 2 days ago and that I have been travelling ticketless since 2 days.............(Wow First I forget my purse and then I forget that my pass had already expired. Huh!……Nut I am ..total nut)

Gosh.......I was like OMIGOD.......ab kya karoon.........I sheepishly handed over my invalid pass to her. Then she goes like,”Aapka pass expire ho gaya hain, bahaar niklo!” (Your pass has expired. You will have to get down now) I was like , there I go……..but I dunno where!) I got down at the next station alongwith the ticket checker and a woman constable. The most amazing thing was I was the only one “caught” in the whole compartment. Huh! So irritating. Then they told me that I will have to pay 60 bucks as the fine. I was like shit! (if you have read the post attentively till now, you will realise that I only had 30 bucks with me now) I told them in a matter of fact tone that I had only 30 rupees with me and that I can’t pay 60 bucks coz I had forgotten my wallet at home. Hearing this they asked me to open my bag and began checking the contents inside. One by one they started checking………I opened my books, my other stuff and showed it to them. Then one of them said,"Ok, so you don’t have the money haan, come with us into the room” I was like room……….why room…….why not here……….Oh god…..are they gonna manhandle me….But why me….Poor me….But nevertheless I followed them meekly.

Once I went inside the room, 2 more ladies came inside; a ticket checker and a woman constable. Now there were two ticket checkers and 2 woman constables inside the room. The room was tiny and a dingy one, very poorly lit. It had a table and a chair. I was asked to check my bag once again. Again the same ritual started. I opened my bag and the contents were left exposed and they bagan pestering me, “The money will be in the bag itself. Just check” I got irritated now. Arrey, my bag, my wallet…….will I not know whether I have money or not. Why wasn’t this thing getting inside their big fat head! Huh!But I thank heavens I did not open my big mouth. She started examining the things again. It was so irritating examining all over again. I just wondered what pleasure she got seeing the things all over again. Maybe she was discovering something new each time she saw the contents. Huh! Weirdos…bigtime! The whole thing toom a few minutes……but I felt as if hours passed by……..I remembered Ashwin’s post on Einstein’s theory of relativity. (of all things I remember that……gawddddddddd)

Then she looked at me and said,” So you don’t have money on you? I will have to prosecute you”. P R O S E C U T E………..O FUCK…..Well You heard it right Shobhs…..they will prosecute now. It was now that it hit me…."Shobha u in deep deep trouble!” I started rambling……Oh.please I am so sorry………This is my first time………I mean first time I have ever been caught! I am sorry I forgot completely.” But she had this horrible look on her face, very similar to the way tigers have when they have their prey before them. All my hope for a reprieve were crushed to pieces. Suddenly she happened to have a look at my college id. She started looking at it all over again. Poori tarah se……(I was like what’s wrong with her…..i thought it was an obsession to examine things again and again) She asks me,"So you study haan?” (Again one of those stupid questions. I felt like answering her, no I do nautanki! Huh! Obviously, I am studying in that college, why else would I have an id of that college with my photograph attached on it! ) But thank heavens again I did not open my big fat mouth. I replied a meek “yes”. She again started looking at the id all over again. I had now completely given up, one crazy woman she was I thought. The she went like,” I am forgiving you now. Just give me the thirty rupees you are having. Don’t do this again” saying this she gave me a receipt. I was like……..Am I hearing what I am hearing???? Yippeeeeeeeeeeee………she did not prosecute me. wowieeeeeeee! I couldn’t believe my ears actually! Anyways I thanked her and left and she grinned……grinned for the first time!

The rest of the day was good. Looks definitely are deceptive. I thought that lady would just roast me alive….but she was a kind hearted soul. My luck…! Happy ending to the otherwise lousy day!

Women's favourite e-mail!!!! (heheheheheeeee)
Ok...people i am posting another email fwd. This was just so funny that i couldn't restrict myself to post.

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely
stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her
body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning,sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries,paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry,
vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on
the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,
then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded
the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper,he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and,
though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected
to make love which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being
able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied,
"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

hehehheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Funnie!
Ok as per Laks' wishes me posting something funny..........

Why I Fired My Secretary... ........
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't
feeling too hot that morning anyway.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant
and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present
for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone
any "Happy Birthday,"
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children
will remember." The children came in to breakfast and
didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was
feeling pretty low and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said,
"Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a
little better, someone had remembered. I worked until
noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You
know, it's such a beautiful day outside
and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you
and me."
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've
heard all day. Let's go." We went to lunch. We didn't
go where we normally go. We went out into the country
to a little private place. We had two martinis an
enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know,
it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to
the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She
said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at
her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I
think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something
more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes,
she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by
my wife, children, and dozens of our friends.
All were singing Happy Birthday...
And there on the couch I sat..............................................
..................................................naked. (Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

Republic Day
Hey ppl! I was watching NDTV's X-factor today and the question was "Should Inida still have the republic day parade?" I side with shekhar Gupta completely cause i feel republic day parade showcasing our arms might is not really necessary and just contradicts everything that our republic day stands for. What do u guys think?

Anyways in the later part of the show they had the interview of Late Triveni Singh's father, Capt. Janmer Singh (Retd.). Lt.Triveni Singh received Ashok Chakra for his gallantary

His father received the award on his behalf. His face bore a crestfallen look as he answered Rajdeep Sardesai's questions. It's such a sad situation to be in. Will a father be happy that his son got an Ashok Chakra or be sad that he lost his son...........It's tough and it's an understatement.

This just reminds an incident. I had attended this local function, a felicitation function of a particular community. I was totally bored.......and I don't know why I was there nor do i care to remember...........But suddenly i heard this announcement......."This award is for Mr. So n So.....who killed some 20 odd enemies at the border and blah and blah............." This just set me thinking. Is the person awarded just because he killed some 20-odd Pakistanis??????? Is he great just because of that...........I mean if he would have killed 20-odd Indians then he would have been a bloody murderer........he becomes great just coz he killed our enemies........does a change in nationality of people killed make such a huge difference........murder and bravery..........ok......I understand ground realities....but I am talking about the humanitarian aspect........i mean the so-called enemies were human too...........but no!!!!! they are bloody pakis.........Huh! puhleeze............The same logic applies to the stupid American policies........I have the highest regard and respect for the armed forces........I know they are doing their duty of defending us.....our country.........but somethings I don't understand......I just simply don't get it!

Also in India a soldier dies a martyr. The whole attitude sucks. Ultimately it's the loss of a precious Human Life. The whole martyrdom thing is pathetic. Soldiers dream of dying here. Oh puhleeze..Watta waste of a such a beautiful life. In America, one might never notice this. This is because human life is very very valued (only American life, mind you!) One would notice a huge public outcry when they would see soldiers dying or for that matter anybody dying. That's why US bombed 2 countries after the death of 3000 Americans......Wonder how many countries should we bomb under this logic.........The concept of martyrdom in India is taken a bit to far.

I know.........I know........I repeat I know about the situation..........the ground realities.....I know about our neighbours......But all I want to say that I am tired.......I really am.......seeing deaths....of soldiers, civilians................I want happiness, peace.........UTOPIA........sigh..............I want no more soldiers to receive awards posthumously........

Hehehhehehehheheheheheheeeeee

Aint this funny Guyz...........I just can't stop laughing.......ehehehhee............This was a toy sold at WSF! HAhahahhahahaaaa

If u can't see the pic, plz do tell me!
Thanks Ridz for the help! :)

This is really cool!

Monalisa ......responds!

WSF-Day1
I was all excited for the World Social Forum(WSF) to begin, more so since I am a student volunteer at WSF, 2004. The first thing that stuck me when I entered NESCO grounds, goregaon was the sea of humanity that I envisioned. There were people everywhere. Living in Mumbai one just gets used to the colossal crowds that we witness everyday. But this was different. There were people who had come from different parts of Maharashtra, different parts of our country and also from various parts of the world. NESCO grounds had become a melting pot of myriad cultures, religions, people etc. The very casualness in which everybody went about doing their work amidst so much differences be it cultural, religious, linguistic etc. just overwhelmed me to a large extent. It was beautiful. It took a while to sink in though.

WSF 2004 was inaugurated by noted freedom fighter Captain Lakshmi Sehgal. The opening ceremony saw dignitaries like Nobel peace Laureate, Shirin Ebadi (Iran), writer- activist Arundhati Roy, prominent leader for Palestinian struggle Mustafa Bargouthi etc. to name a few. Shirin Ebadi spoke about Patriarchy. She denounced the patriarchal system and expressed sadness by the fact that women all over were directly responsible for the continuation of patriarchy. I thought that it was extremely noteworthy for her to speak against patriarchy especially since Iran being an Islamic country has patriarchy rooted in its society. Patriarchy is very inherent in India, something I am sure everyone encounters at his or her homes itself. It was a powerful message since most of the Indians have more or less accepted patriarchy as matter of fact without any questions against it. Mustafa Bargouthi talked about the freedom struggle in Palestine, which everyone heard, with rapt interest. He retorted that most of the people are misinformed about the Palestinian conflict and he held media responsible to certain extent. I thought that was interesting. Almost all the speakers condemned the USA’s occupation of Iraq and denounced the growing US imperialism.

The translation system at the WSF is very innovative. Media persons and other delegates are equipped with a FM radio. In case of a speech in English, Hindi etc. simultaneous translations take place in Spanish, French and other languages, which the person can hear with the help of the FM radio. The translators have come all the way from France, Spain etc. to help assist WSF. They are very quick and efficient at their work.

I met lot of interesting people on the way. Earlier in the day I met two journalists from Germany who trying to talk to the cab driver to take them to hotel Sea princess. Then I realised that the driver had no plans of going to Juhu and he was busy trying to tell them that he is not going in that direction. Obviously the foreigners didn’t understand. This is where I stepped in. I asked them to go by an auto rickshaw since there weren’t any cabs in sight then. They were quite amused by the name “Reekshaw”! I also told them about the meter-reading system too. They thanked me and left.

There were people from remotest parts of India and they were quite overwhelmed by the presence of several foreigners and their whacky dressing styles. I overheard two Malyalee guys talking, “Ivada noka, idhu onnum ittutillya” (Look there, she’s hardly worn anything) I just burst out laughing.

The highlight of the day was the performance of Pakistani Band, Junoon. They played their hit numbers, Sayyonee, Dosti etc. and enthralled the crowds. It is here that I met some members of Swati, an NGO working for women. SWATI is women’s movement against poverty and violence working mainly in Tamil Nadu. I started talking to a few members in Tamil. They just couldn’t believe that I could speak Tamil. But later the funny or tragic part was that they couldn't figure out what i was talking. Ok my tamil was sooper-bad and every sentecnce contained 3-4 english words. Man I am pathetic. Ultimately i ended up speaking to Ms.Lalitha in English. Geeeesh!!!!!!! SWATI works with rural women in Tamil Nadu. They help them gain employment, teach them skills like tailoring etc. she said that, “People in rural areas don’t realise the ill-effects until they are affected by it. We believe that globalisation is dangerous and we are involved in education the women in the grassroot level.” I didn’t quite agree with her because I feel that globalisation in totality is not bad but certain practices definitely are. But I did not argue. What she further said was quite interesting. She said, “Globalisation is responsible for the growing violence against women. She also said globalisation has resulted in reduction of jobs, also the voluntary/compulsory retirement schemes have proved to be really harmful. Men with no jobs on hand tend to be more violent with women.” I later wished her luck and departed.

On my way home I met a group of chinky eyed women who asked me the route to the railway station. I guided them and then asked them about their country. They replied that they were Indians. It was embarrassing for me. I mistook them for someone else. I felt really foolish. I mean I would have felt very offended if someone Indian might have asked me whether I am an Indian or not. It just reflects the sad fact that we are so ignorant about northeast.

It was a great day at the WSF. What I noticed was a growing resentment against the growing hegemony of USA and its actions. Also it was an eye opener since I found scores of people being hit by unfair practices of globalisation. Also it was lot of colour, culture at day one at WSF.

(More to come later as and when I would get time)

Budday Wishes
Happy Birthday Rahul Dravid (11th Jan)! :)

Building Parties
As I am writing this there is a building party going on in the neighbouring housing society. This is something very typical to people who live in apartments in Mumbai, Guess its popular everywhere else too. Every new yearmany housing societies have a get-together. they have their own typical idiosyncrasies.

A party is incomplete without musical chairs. Its so much fun seeing moti ladies running to grab the chairs. heheheheee!

There has to be an antakshari. Goodness! it then becomes gathering of all besuraas.........even as i am writing this, there is an antakshari going on.......and trust me I wanna run away from my place. They are murdering the songs. But there will exist one person who will sing well and He/She would be irritated to death coz s/he are supposed to oblige everybody by singing. Poor souls....are bored to death. But some of them enjoy every moment of their brief period of limelight and so they oblige requests from everybody.

Whats a building party without naach gaana! So this year, its Kal Ho Naa Ho all the way. Its the time to disco................Its must-have song. Previously it was Dil chahta hain........Koi Kahe........it was there everywhere. Children over here take centerstage. Non-stop practice, endless rehearsals, costumes, make up, everything is managed by children and the teens!

Also how can I forget Housie, the number game. There would be one Patil uncle from every building who would compere the show in his own inimitable style. He would occupy the centerstage with others surround him anticipating every number.

There would also be sports. Running race, relay, lemon 'n' spoon, Book Balance etc. etc. for the kids. Parents are the most excited during this event. One should see the way they come and cheer their children. Its a matter of pride if your daughter defeated your neighbour's son, pappu.......

Now who can forget the food. There are some losers in every hsg soc. They would turn up only when the dinner is served.

I used to love building parties, infact I still do. I used to take part in all dances (filmi). It used to be so much of fun. One thing I used to love was rehearsals. All the friends used to gather together and have so much of fun. There used to be this empty house always, so all our dance practice would go on there. All our Christmas vacations used to be spent rehearsing the dance steps.

Our building parties were so popular that other building residents would queue up in their terrace to watch us perform. I remember we used to have loads of Christmas vacation homework in school........but wat da heck! Nobody cared! We were too busy with our dances, drama etc. Parties like this have their own unique character. Some memories I will always cherish! :)

Somethings I love doing
Hmm......I just loving moon gazing. I can do that for hours together and just not get bored. I simply loveee it.

I love balloons. I always like to buy gas ballons...loads of them and then go to my terrace and then just let it go........in the blue sky and just watch them. Wow! can anything be more better!

I just love watching kids play. they are so adorable. Especially toddlers.....they are amazing. The way they speak, the way they walk........everything is fascinating.

I love nature. I love going for long walks where there is ample greenary. I would never get tired walking. Obviously Mumbai does not offer me such luxuries.....But am always on hunt for such locations.

Love reading a book near a window, sitting on a comfy couch, when it is raining outside with a amma's hot filter coffee. Wow! nothing like it.........haina!

Meeting up with friends and yapping non-stop! Total timepass......

Going to my school. I miss those days ya.....

Talking on phone with friends.

I love elephants. They are my favourite animal. They are so cute, the best actually. A ride on an elephant wud be so amazing. hehehehehe! Ok.me not crazy...but I love it!

Hrishikesh Mukherjee's films and RK narayan's novels! love them!!!!!!!!!

Love beaches and can gaze the sea for hours on end.

Visiting my patti......mean my gramma......she is an absolute sweetheart!
many more......