Tuesday, July 13, 2004


Ever since I am in my final year specialising in journalism, it has been tremendous amount of fun. I love everybit of our lectures one of the main reson being they are so interactive. Also the projects are damn cool. I will narrate some of the funniest experiences I have had.

We had a guest lecturer who came and gave us a lecture on Investigative reporting. She also gave us an assignment wherein we were supposed to hunt for an investigative story (very small scale) urs truly was totally lost. i couldn't figure out anything at all. Finally I decided upon an idea. (Bigtime cliched, but well, doesn't matter) One is not supposed to sell cigarettes within 100 metres of an educational institution. But well, as usual the laws are flouted merrily. There is a paanwala shop near my college who sells ciggies on a sly. I planned to go and buy a packet of cigarettes and I had to ask for a bill too, otherwise no proof! Ok..people, I don't smoke. Never ever gone near a pan beedi shop in my whole damn life. So I went to this shop tagging a friend alongside me. I asked for a packet of ciggies and he slowly turned back, opened his black plastic bag wherein he had hid his ciggies and gave me a packet. I asked him for a bill saying that "Acoounts karna hain Bhaiyya, bill chahiye!" {Wot crap, what account, what bull shit! } and that man gave me a bill immediately. I was like YO! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Now I wanted to try again. So I went to another shop. I asked for a pack of ciggies again. I asked the guy for a bill and he didn't have a bill. He said he will write it down in a piece of paper and give it to me. I readily agreed. But well.... only wrote the price and he gave. I asked him,"Bhaiyya, dukaan ka naam nahi likhoge?" He was like, "Dukaan ka nam bhi chahiye kya?" hmmmmmmm. He bent down and suddenly he got up and he began glancing at our I-cards which as per our college rules we always have to tie it around our neck like a kutte ka ptha! Huh! He asked me how old I am, I said was as 19. Convinced he gave us the bill. Then he says," Mereko bahut tension hota hain Cigarettes bechte samay! " I was like," tension hoita hain toh bechta kyun hain re!" Wanted to scream at him but well, my work over and I fled. Since my prof wanted only a chotu story, I just went and tried my luck at 2 shops around my college. If she would have asked us to work on it full-on then maybe I might have covered majority of colleges in Mumbai. I as so excited....heehhee! investigative thingy is fun...total fun! :D :D :D

Now me at home:
My Appa is busy reading newspaper. I wanted to do some keeda (mast). So I went up to him and I saw him deeply engrossed in the newspaper. I started with all seriousness...
Appa, See what I brought today!!! Saying this I flung my ciggy packet on his newspaper. And I proceeded. "Appa, I have decided to start smoking. I am being very honest with you and I am telling you beforehand." Appa's face became numb. He didn't know what to do. Oh shesssssh! Watta Kodak moment! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA! I couldn't control it any more. I blurted out, "Appa, I'm joking. It is for a project." Appa still couldn't understand what kind of college project was it which required me to buy cigarette packets! HAHAHAAHHAHAA! I explained him the entire idea and burst out laughing. heheheheheheeee! So much fun! Poor sweet dad of mine! awwwwwww! heheheheheeee! ;)

We have this subject called niche magazine and journalism. So what is a niche magazine? A niche magazine is a speciality type magazine which only caters to a specific interest (photography), relegion, particular profession etc. etc. So my professor one day brought whole load of niche magazines in our class. It had nice magazines I have never even heard the names of. Asian timber, Asian Dentist, Dhanvaarta bazaar patrika, Competition success review, GK Today etc. etc. and some really weird weird ones too. We were asked to pick up any of the two magazines and pass it on to our immediate neighbour. And then we were supposed to have a glance at them and we were given some 15-odd minutes to read them. Sudden;ly one of friends started laughing loudly. Since urs is a very small class (only 13 students) we get distractd very easily. The whole class turned to her and burst out laughing. She had a copy of debonair. Oh yea...U read it right ppl.........The porn magazine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well porn has a niche of its own own (Do I need to add that? :P) I mean porn magazines are considered niche magazines and our professor was planning to have like a discussion on them too. We are a class of 11 girls and 2 guys and in that particular class only one guy as present. So we girls really didn't bother to flip the pages with great interest (Well, I know for the fact that there are no lesbians in my class :P) We started flipping through the agony aunt column. AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA! It was some March 1986 issue. The agony aunt columns were hilarious to say the least. Sample one of these, it had the class into splits.

I am a a 30 yr old man. I am happily married to my wife who is very beautiful, smart and slim. But I have this fascination for old, mature and obese women. Whenever I make love to my wife, I always imagine old, mature, obese women. Is there anything wrong in me? and y doo I think they way I think?

Oh shesssssssssssssh! It was just too much.....People burst out laughing .Total ruckus in my tiny classroom. Our professor finally interrupted and we had to proceed to another magazine. But it was so much fun! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :p:p

TRIVIA: India's first porn magazine was in Hindi. It was called MASTRAM (LOLOLOLOLOL), was started in the 1950s. :P

1 comment:

Shobha said...

I, Me and Media!

BlogBack Closing 13th October 2005.

I am sure this post of yours is gonna attract a whole load of comments. So being first is definitely an achievement :P.Thanks for all the valuable information.
I just repeat what i said earlier…All my sympathies with your poor Appa…staying in the same house with a mental case all these years must have taken its toll on him but he is still bravely holding out. My best wishes to him :P :P.
btw shobhs.. u are the cutest! lol

2004-07-12 22:18

poor appa :P. haan, now what were you doing while the rest of the class was reading up agony aunt?

and what re? posting at 4:19 and all.

2004-07-13 05:44

oye….. mastram or `bin wastram` sirf shastram…..hehehehe…. now bout those packet of ciggies… i prefer malboro hards…hope u bought those….. or even shivaji chhaap bidis wil do… u kno these bidi packets are sold for $5 to $7 a pack….. u buy i sell…. send u da newyrk times n da chicago tribune once a month for 5 years…. do we have a deal???? pleeeeezzz amma i need da money….. buhuhuhhahahaha

2004-07-13 06:11

Pity your poor dad! :)

2004-07-13 09:24
not necessary:

Hi.. someone sent me this link… I guess you are on your way to becoming an express-style journalist…. but….. please do some more research. There is NO rule which prohibits a cigarette stall in 100 m of an educational institute. If you know of such a rule, please quote it with IPC number and the details. I would correct my misconception.

However, smoking is banned in public places .. this one is by SC. So it is an easy target for an investigative story.. you can click pics of anybody at any public place.

2004-07-13 09:41

Wah, Shobha ji, you do get do explore a whole lot of areas under this garb of journalism :D

2004-07-13 10:17

hahahah mental case…..aaj kal ki bache….sigh…..i like this font…whatever it is…..and hey very soon we will be seein apni Shobz on NDTV!

And ok India has a porn magazine????????Holy shit!!

2004-07-13 11:35

I think the "Saroja Devi" (pseudonym) kadhaikal and "Indu Nesan" magazine (in Thamizh) have a longer history.

2004-07-13 11:57

hehehe shobha the detective :P.

2004-07-13 11:58

Hmmm, when did debonair become a porno magazine ?

2004-07-13 12:54

Eventful! ;)

2004-07-13 13:26

wot did u do with the cigarettes..*sly look*…:D

2004-07-13 13:56

You and your pack of cigarettes! Poor dad, I pity him totally :-)

2004-07-13 17:39

wonder y most ppl commented on ciggys and overlooked d big MASTRAM in da end:D:D:D…and tht magazine is still alive and rockin just these days da comp has terribly affected such magazines:D:D…anyways wud b fun workin in such niche magazines..also story telling abilities will increase manifold…

2004-07-13 20:50

the qstion 2really is ask is…….do u hav a copy of tat mag???? buhahaha

2004-07-14 02:23

Haha :) Cool post :)

2004-07-14 06:18

nice post… u really scared the hell out of ur dad.. debonair in the class room… thats all i need ;)

2004-07-14 14:59

Thats a nice scary present to give your dad when you want to take revenge :P.
And finally, what happend to "investigative journolism". Did somebody manage to cover a murder mystery ;)
Porn of the 1980's, the stuff dreams are made of……
Indian porn in the 1950's, Thats a good start for the country, I must say so

2004-07-14 18:17

hmmm… ciggy etc… must have snapped the moment…and where in the world did u get the porn trivia…. i almost forgot INDIA's first and began to wonder abt hindi as a lang???

2004-07-14 19:12

My manager is glaring at me… I am laughing my guts out… and he is like "what's wrong, are u ok?" I told him…"Read this" he read your blog too… both of us are rolling on the floor… awesome post.

2004-07-14 22:31

porn magazines in ur class??? .. is ur prof a mech enggineer kya?? ;)

U shad have scared appa even further na … ek light kar ke sir muh mein rakhne ka na ;)

2004-07-15 06:57

hmm agony aunt!!.. man.. thts like a blast from the past … i remember how me and my friends used to sit and go thru every article in a few debonair magazine that someone ..( and we still dont know who it was) had hid atop a cupboard in our building terrace!!!!!……hmmm..those were the days!!!.. alas aaj kal ke bacche log..they got porn movies…and that too in GB's… and hum log the.. aise hi…1986 ke fat obese women ke fascination wale uncles ke baren main read karte the….:)

2004-07-16 12:14

kaiko aapne baap ko heartattack dene pe tuli hai re!!!!…. i like your class very very much!!,.,…. 11 gals and just 2 guys!!!.allah!!. a mech ka bhooka nanga like me twill go crazy!!!!!.. and tht too..1 1gals reading porn magazines before me,,,,,,AAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!.. WOW!!!…wht next… everybody watches porn movies together too!!????/….. wonder where that discussion will take your class!!!??

2004-07-16 12:17

shobs ..summa solade edu varikum evale dum aduchireppe? hey u ppl hav really hoooooooootttt classes yaar! reading porn magazines, buying cigars and wat else huh? good going babe!

2004-07-16 15:28

Mastram…lolz .. :p

2004-07-18 11:34

allu lallu … yedu ammmaauuuu pornu watchulvu … buhaha .. tamil is so much fun

2004-07-18 21:55

nice post :) journalism sure can be a lot of fun!

2004-07-19 08:47
Bryan D:

Am an alumnus of Xavier Institute of Communications (Journalism Dept.), Mumbai. Came across that you are in your final year of journalism. Where? Anyways, had a lot of similar experiences.
Do drop by my page sometimes. I could sure use some extra criticism.

2004-07-19 13:08

shobha if u don't mind…excuse me vighy, was tht tamil:P

2004-07-19 17:40

shobha if u don't mind…excuse me vighy, was tht tamil:P

2004-07-19 17:41

I was trying to make it sound like tamil :P

2004-07-19 20:23

IMHO,Niche magazine term was good ..but the the object in Question can be classified as Mens/Adult Mag than a XXX Mag though I don't know what level it has stooped @ present ..Coz Some of renowned Photographers like Adrien Steven,Chien Wien Lee,Jagdish Maali,Jayesh Acharya have graced this Mag with their Brilliant Work at some point of time

2004-07-20 22:10

Debonair in class???!?1?! Damn! Y didnt I take up journalism!!!

2004-07-20 22:56

Hiya lady! interesting classes you have!
brave gurl!

and I think Mastram is still in circulation.. or was till 2 yrs ago when I was in college!

And Deb being called a porn mag! Lottsa people wud be hurt ;)

2004-07-22 12:33
Still Single:

hmm …pity your poor dad !

2004-07-22 12:49


HEyyyy…….ur da coolest sobaa………HEHEHEHEHE !!

2004-07-24 05:38

Hey! Nice blog!!

Journo, huh? I'm going to IIMC (Delhi) for their PG dilploma in Journo. Looking forward to it!

Gimme a yell sometime! Cheers


2004-07-24 19:30
Arvind Iyer:

Hey there SHobha…
Interestin article…still doin my report on all the porn mags in india..heheh…so I could use all this info.:) hey Moi added ur link in my world..Drop in and hopin to see many more blogs from u:)

2004-07-24 20:06


wow finally i get to comment;) "XP" is good!

2004-07-25 13:15

that was a funny one….

2004-07-25 14:00

cool post!!

inbetn i feel like askin vighy…..ut this…"porn magazines in ur class??? .. is ur prof a mech enggineer kya?? ;)"….y he related prof to mech engineer???….Throw some light!!!

2004-07-26 05:27

cool post!!

inbetn i feel like askin vighy…..ut this…"porn magazines in ur class??? .. is ur prof a mech enggineer kya?? ;)"….y he related prof to mech engineer???….Throw some light!!!

2004-07-26 05:27

hehehe paavam appa. how u doin shobz? long time no see :-(

2004-07-26 19:55

and look who talks about otehr people being passionate about what they study :P

2004-07-28 07:39

:o) A friend was telling me about reading mastram chupke se school time mein… and he says he learnt all his gaalis from it.

2004-07-29 13:06

@ reya - BUhahahaha .. coz mechies r true bhooka nanga ppl ;)