CRAZY TIME

Ever since I am in my final year specialising in journalism, it has been tremendous amount of fun. I love everybit of our lectures one of the main reson being they are so interactive. Also the projects are damn cool. I will narrate some of the funniest experiences I have had.

We had a guest lecturer who came and gave us a lecture on Investigative reporting. She also gave us an assignment wherein we were supposed to hunt for an investigative story (very small scale) urs truly was totally lost. i couldn't figure out anything at all. Finally I decided upon an idea. (Bigtime cliched, but well, doesn't matter) One is not supposed to sell cigarettes within 100 metres of an educational institution. But well, as usual the laws are flouted merrily. There is a paanwala shop near my college who sells ciggies on a sly. I planned to go and buy a packet of cigarettes and I had to ask for a bill too, otherwise no proof! Ok..people, I don't smoke. Never ever gone near a pan beedi shop in my whole damn life. So I went to this shop tagging a friend alongside me. I asked for a packet of ciggies and he slowly turned back, opened his black plastic bag wherein he had hid his ciggies and gave me a packet. I asked him for a bill saying that "Acoounts karna hain Bhaiyya, bill chahiye!" {Wot crap, what account, what bull shit! } and that man gave me a bill immediately. I was like YO! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Now I wanted to try again. So I went to another shop. I asked for a pack of ciggies again. I asked the guy for a bill and he didn't have a bill. He said he will write it down in a piece of paper and give it to me. I readily agreed. But well.... only wrote the price and he gave. I asked him,"Bhaiyya, dukaan ka naam nahi likhoge?" He was like, "Dukaan ka nam bhi chahiye kya?" hmmmmmmm. He bent down and suddenly he got up and he began glancing at our I-cards which as per our college rules we always have to tie it around our neck like a kutte ka ptha! Huh! He asked me how old I am, I said was as 19. Convinced he gave us the bill. Then he says," Mereko bahut tension hota hain Cigarettes bechte samay! " I was like," tension hoita hain toh bechta kyun hain re!" Wanted to scream at him but well, my work over and I fled. Since my prof wanted only a chotu story, I just went and tried my luck at 2 shops around my college. If she would have asked us to work on it full-on then maybe I might have covered majority of colleges in Mumbai. I as so excited....heehhee! investigative thingy is fun...total fun! :D :D :D

Now me at home:
My Appa is busy reading newspaper. I wanted to do some keeda (mast). So I went up to him and I saw him deeply engrossed in the newspaper. I started with all seriousness...
Appa, See what I brought today!!! Saying this I flung my ciggy packet on his newspaper. And I proceeded. "Appa, I have decided to start smoking. I am being very honest with you and I am telling you beforehand." Appa's face became numb. He didn't know what to do. Oh shesssssh! Watta Kodak moment! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA! I couldn't control it any more. I blurted out, "Appa, I'm joking. It is for a project." Appa still couldn't understand what kind of college project was it which required me to buy cigarette packets! HAHAHAAHHAHAA! I explained him the entire idea and burst out laughing. heheheheheheeee! So much fun! Poor sweet dad of mine! awwwwwww! heheheheheeee! ;)

We have this subject called niche magazine and journalism. So what is a niche magazine? A niche magazine is a speciality type magazine which only caters to a specific interest (photography), relegion, particular profession etc. etc. So my professor one day brought whole load of niche magazines in our class. It had nice magazines I have never even heard the names of. Asian timber, Asian Dentist, Dhanvaarta bazaar patrika, Competition success review, GK Today etc. etc. and some really weird weird ones too. We were asked to pick up any of the two magazines and pass it on to our immediate neighbour. And then we were supposed to have a glance at them and we were given some 15-odd minutes to read them. Sudden;ly one of friends started laughing loudly. Since urs is a very small class (only 13 students) we get distractd very easily. The whole class turned to her and burst out laughing. She had a copy of debonair. Oh yea...U read it right ppl.........The porn magazine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well porn has a niche of its own own (Do I need to add that? :P) I mean porn magazines are considered niche magazines and our professor was planning to have like a discussion on them too. We are a class of 11 girls and 2 guys and in that particular class only one guy as present. So we girls really didn't bother to flip the pages with great interest (Well, I know for the fact that there are no lesbians in my class :P) We started flipping through the agony aunt column. AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA! It was some March 1986 issue. The agony aunt columns were hilarious to say the least. Sample one of these, it had the class into splits.

I am a a 30 yr old man. I am happily married to my wife who is very beautiful, smart and slim. But I have this fascination for old, mature and obese women. Whenever I make love to my wife, I always imagine old, mature, obese women. Is there anything wrong in me? and y doo I think they way I think?

Oh shesssssssssssssh! It was just too much.....People burst out laughing .Total ruckus in my tiny classroom. Our professor finally interrupted and we had to proceed to another magazine. But it was so much fun! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :p:p

TRIVIA: India's first porn magazine was in Hindi. It was called MASTRAM (LOLOLOLOLOL), was started in the 1950s. :P