Thursday, April 29, 2004

GUESS WHO IS SHE.................She Is Reeese witherspoon!!!!

I got this as a forward and I am not very amused NOW, dud, whoever sent me the fwd, dud, sooper-dud and me the best of them all........queen of dudsfor actually believing it......dhuhhhhhh....

SHE IS Sonia Gandhi........well.....that's what the forward said.......!!!!!


People plz don't comment in my haloscan ka comment box. HALOSCAN IS CHOR. They have eaten up all my old comments. Apparently they seem to delete all the comments more than 4 months old. I want to delete the link to the comment box, but well....i will do after sometime. Ur comments are precious to me and I don't want to loose them. I wud be deleting it soon. In the meanwhile plz dont comment in it.

Haloscan is a chor..........!!!! grhhhhhh!!!

For all cynics over here.......this quote I think is perfect.................:D

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world...................Anne Frank!

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Moi Back

Heyllo ppl! Yea.....I am very much alive. Sorry, I cudnt update at all. I am just so caught with my internship, that I just did not get any time and most importantly the will to update. Sorry again coz I have not been replying to ur comments properly.....Sachi sorry...will reply yo them soon....plz check! :D

I should confess that I am lucky to be interning during election time. Got to see so much of campaigning, rallies, slogans, etc. etc. Its no wonder that Indian politics is regarded as The GREAT TAMASHA. Its weird....but so fascinating. I sometimes just wonder what kind of culture shock this would be to the foreign correspondents covering it. hehehehheee!

Indians are over-emotional people and the politicians take maximum advantage of this fact and Boy.........How! The political rallies can be classified as a classic case of stupidity and opportunism combined together. One also gets to see an overdose of much chamchagiri can one bear to see...Shesssssssh! The biggies (I mean the big ministers) are almost regarded as Gods. Sheeesssssh again!

Also, one can hear the most amusing slogans. Sample this one.....

During a Mulayam Singh rally....people started screaming when he descended from his helicopter.
Hullabol , Hulla Bol, Mulayam Singh Hulla bol.....
Hullabol , Hulla Bol, Mulayam Singh Hulla bol!!!!!!

I really found it very funny.....Well if any of u bloggers are from UP and understand the word, Hulla Bol, please enlighten me.

During a Manohar Joshi Rally.....

Maushi, Kaki, Akka Tai...
Dhanush Baan var button daaba...
shiva senyacha (wotever) karava.... {I forgot the word}

(Did u guys note the word Akka?)
The shiv Sena has convieniently ignored the Mee Mumbaikar and mee Maharashtrain thingy and now goes full on to garner votes from the minorities by such stupid slogans. Plzzzzzzz.......double dholki all the way....huh!
and now Uddhav Thackerey goes on to release an album which has songs singing praises about the plurality of Maharastra. Sad....

The other day I was watching 'follow the leader' in NDTV. This programme is all about following the campaign trail of any politician. The leader (?) in question was the loudmouth Mani Shanker Aiyer. He's apparently contesting from the constituency of Myladudurai.

The first thing Mr. Aiyer does is visit a church and then on spotting a nun, immediately falls on her feet and asks for her blessings and I thought she was considerably younger to him.. Well...tht's not the point. I remember his famous declaration of being an atheist on Barkha Dutt talkshow. That shot just flashed by my eyes and as if reading my mind, Nupur Basu (reporter) asked him the question, "Butarent u supposed to be a atheist?"
Aiyer replies, Yea I am an atheist but at the same time I am a secularist. So i respect all relegions. I was like wot shit....does he know the meaning of atheist or simply goes on painting the town red by talking shit as per the demands of the situation. he changes the definition of atheism, secularism as per his whims and fancies and talks rubbish on the televison making a complete ass of himself. Well....when has he not made an ass of himself is another question altogether! He also went tot he temple, prayed, did abhishekhams and all. Blah.........!

Then he goes and plays cricket with the children shouting hee hoo haaa and crap. Even kirit somaiyya did that and famously decalred I am a man of masses. I know, if u bowl a ball or bat for an over then U r a man of masses. (plzzzzzzzz)

After sometime, Aiyer goes dorr to door canvassing. At a house he's thrust a new born baby and he's asked to name the baby. He names the baby RAJIV! :|........and then proudly goes to state, there are many priyankas, rahuls, Rajivs, Indiras in this locality. People keep coming to me asking me to name their child. Bloody sychophant. I dont understand Y shud all the Congress campaigns have posters of Rahul and Priyanka Gandhi.!!!!! Priyanka Gandhi hasnt even fought an election and Rahul Gandhi is a newbie. Y their posters! Such things seriously irritates when u keep seeing them all the while.

POLITICIANS SUCK.....but the elction drama is fun! total fun! :D

Also, I even came on NDTV, participated in the hindi version of We, the people and was an audience member in BIG FIGHT. I met Rajdeep Sardesai..........yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I went upto him and like a total fool told him how he's one of my favourite journo and shook hands with him. I dinno wotelse to say. Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!! Well I also saw Harsha Bhogle......I love him.....he's so cute!!!!!!! Ok, I am shutting my trap here. But Yayyyyyyy! again :D :D :D :D

Anyways sayonaara for now. seeya laterz! :D

P.S. : I VOTED.......YAYYYYYY!first time zindagi mein vote kiya and I am so proud of myself. The black mark on my index finger looks gross but I am so proud of myself..........:D :D :D.....yayyyy...hope u guyz voted too...if not sachi....Shame on u! (conditions apply)

Sunday, April 18, 2004

Saturday, April 10, 2004

My first political rally

Tune: Tum toh Thehre Pardesi by Altaj Raja

Tum toh thehre pardesi...........
Des kya chalaoge........... (2)
Hamein apne desh ki politics kya dikhaoge..........
Tum toh thehre pardesi........
...and so it goes....

You dont need like an Einstein's brain to understand that this is a direct dig at Sonia Gandhi and her foreign origin.

The first political rally that I attended were filled with personal digs galore. The party workers set the mood for the campaign with songs and slogans like these. Narendra Modi (BJP), chief Minister of Gujarat came to campaign for Mr. Manohar Joshi (Shiv Sena).

It was mainly bcoz of Narendra Modi that I wanted to attend the rally. I really wanted to hear that man talk. I just wanted to have a first hand experience of the speech of Modi who was so unpopular in the media. The rally started quite late........ 2 hrs late. But the party workers kept entertaining the people. Initially they sang all songs, national, regional, Shivaji songs etc. But later when they saw that thr wasnt any crowd response, they turned to cheap gimmicks. Personal attacks on Congress and NCP leaders were the mantra for the day. refernces to Chaggan Bhujbal, the ex-deputy chief Minister of Maharashtra in reference to Telgi scam were infact hilarious (Tel + Ghee.......oil + butter, literal translation). hehehehee.....But the gereatest irony was when the party workers sang a campaign song based on the song Pretty woman. Well, a hindutva based party upholding swadeshi values singing songs based on Hollywood movies..........hahahahaha!

Another sample......This is a dig on Sharad Pawar. Well a brief History...
Sharad Pawar was a member of Congress party but then left Congress because of his reluctance in accepting Sonia Gandhi (an Italian-Indian) as the prime ministerial candidate of the Congress Party. He went on to form his own party, Nationalist Congress party. This happened 2 years ago. But now that the Lok Sabha elections are fast approaching, he made a sudden u-turn and has joined hands with the Congres sparty under the leadership of Sonia Gandhi totally forgetting the fact that she was the main and probably the only reason why he left the Congress party in the first choice. They sung this song which I think was very apt........ehehehhee
From Koi Mil gaya...
Idhar Chala yeh Udhar Chala.......
jaane kahaan yeh kidhar Chala.....
arrey phisal gaya.................
yeh Sonia ke sang ho chala........

I thought that was funny.

In India all the main leaders have a set of followers, I think instead of calling them followers, I feel they are chamchas.....all are bloody sychophants. A certain Mr. Sbramaniam who was earlier with NCP, has currently joined the Shiv Sena. When this fact was announced there were people screaming "Bharat Mata ki Jai"...........Hullo what's the whole point?!?!?!?!?!?!.........Absolute nonsense!

Manohar Joshi's speech did not contain anything different and he basically spoke less. Then was the turn of the so-called hero of the day.........Mr. Narendra MORON Modi...........

Modi came dressed in a pristine whitekurta and a pant. Gross injustice to the colour which stands for peace. huh! Now I know why the media hates him. I just thought when the Indian media despises him so much, y the hell is he given so much coverage........Well..this is because he is controversial........anything controversial, has to have the media attention. Also he gives juicy bytes......absolutely controversial. Indian media will lap anything which has a slight hint of controversy. Well.....the start of his speech was quite sober. After a point of time I began wondering, is this the real Modi? But then he started spewing venom. He constanly referred to Sonia Gandhi as Begum Sahiba. I really didn't understand the reason. The tone with which he was referring to indicated was definitely anti-Muslim. Also he mentioned Sonia Gandhi and Mian Musharraf (note:Mian) in the same vein. Modi took extreme stands as in those who didn't "feel good" well are obviously not patriotic Indians. His logic was.......Sonia Gandhi isn't will she feel good or be happy???I was like what rubbish. feel Good, India shining are all humbug. The interiors of India tell quite a different story and there are well thousands of people who are suffering.

Modi has an amazing knack of skewing up things. Well take this example.........
"In India, the home of a daughter is always husband's home (sasuraal)..(what nonsense!) Imagine a very rich girl from Mumbai gets married to a poor guy from Pune and after marriage starts living in Pune in penury and she happens to meet someone from Mumbai. She will always say that her home is Pune and will never flaunt her father's riches in Mumbai. They say Sonia Gandhi is Indian, but why does she acknowledge her property in Italy while declaring her assests? Y is she still the owner of properties in Italy? What does this signfy?"

I was at loss of words, when he started speaking likewise. I mean, did it make any sense to u guys? What nonsense! People, I am not in favour of Sonia Gandhi at all. I mean I think India deserves people much more talented than Sonia Gandhi. But I think the personal attacks are in a very bad taste. And in an interview with Rajdeep Sardesai, NDTV 2-3 days before, Modi had declared on camera that he would stop the personal attacks. Well he seems to be suffering from temporary amnesia.

He also mentioned Godhra. He accused Congress's Kapil Sibal of trying to free the rioters involved in the Godhra train masscare. He accused them of being anti-national. Okies.....but what are u doing Mr. Modi? What is your party doing? All the Best Bakery victims are out scotfree..........just coz all the victims who died were Muslims? So many cases are being shifted outside Gujarat.....y? His speeches reflect so much hatred. So much hatred!!!!! I am at loss for words.

It was a very sad day for me as an Indian for a part of my India voted for such a man to power. God Save Gujarat! God Bless Gujarat! I again wish to say that I am not pro-Congress or anti- BJP or anything like that. But the scathing personal attacks and skewing up things, politics of hatred is just not acceptable.

Now the best part: There wasnt much of a crowd turnout for this rally. Yayyyyyyy! for that!!!!!!!!!!

The same day Thackerey says something like this," Wasn't there a single male in Congress party that they chose a Woman to lead the party?"
Excuse me!!!!!!!!Such a sexist comment. Gosh, get a life Mr. Thackerey! Please don't stoop to such levels. dhuh!!!!!!

Well I am voting for the first time. I am confused, frustrated. But exercise my vote I will! But its gonna be a choice between the devil and the deep sea. Or I might just hit the "None of the above" button!

Saturday, April 03, 2004

It was the third week of March. March 21st to be precise. March 21st, 2000 to be even more precise. I had given my 10th boards that month and was busy chilling as it got over by the second week itself. Now march 21st happened to be rang panchami....aka Holi. I had a great holi with my building mates. I was totally drenched, completely coloured and basically had a great time.

March 21st 2000....9 p.m. I am in front of the TV having my dinner. Suddenly the phone rang and I went to pick up the phone.
Me: Hullo!
Anonymous voice: Hullo May i Talk to err...Shobha plz?
Me: (puzzled! whose this?) Well This is Shobha speaking!
Anonymous: Well Hi Shobha, Hi I am speaking from MTV. (and I was like huh?????? Y on the earth would someone call me from MTV? )
MTV guy: U r on MTV SELECT!
Me: Are u bluffing?
Anon : Hey no, I am serious, U wud to be talking to him in a few minutes from now!
(MTV Select is a show on MTV wherein U can call and request for ur favourite song. and U get to talk to the cool Nikhil Chinappa! It works something like this. U call up at a particular number, leave behind a message, ur name, ur phone and blah blah and they would get back to you. I had tried calling them before, but with no success. I had totally lost hope that they would ever respond to my messages. So when they called I was quite sceptical and thought someone was playing fool.)
Anon: Shobha, its true, u on MTV select.
(I was sceptical though)
Then suddenly I heard faint voice of Nikhil Chinappa yapping away and for a moment I couldn't believe it was him! IT WAS INDEED HIM!!!! no fool at all!

(Now I was totally excited.....animated....dancing with joy....amma looking at me with a big question mark on her face.....I wanted to be decent so I didn't scream, So i jumped...up and down...up and down...up and down..... many times!
I was soo happy, I was on MTV select. Being on MTV Select meant talking to NIKHIL favourite VJ! I loved him when I was 15. I was his crazy fan (Well...not quite as crazy as I was about Rahul dravid, but still....) I was sooooooooooooooo excited......yayyyyyy...yipppeeeee yayyyyyy! :DDDDD

Anon: Shobha, This is Nikhil's last show. He' getting married, so wish him....! (I was like wat bull crap!!!!)
Me: What nonsense! (thought the guy had lost it)
Anon: Well, I am not bluffing.
Then I heard him speaking," Welcome back people to MTV Select and we have someone on the line (ME all *grin**grin*)

NC: Hey! Whose this?
Me: This is Shobha here. Hie How are you?
NC: Whoa, U seem to have a loud clear voice. My sound recordist is sure happy ( In other words telling me how loud I was. Well..he was right....I have like a loud loud voice)
Well....what do you do Shobha? Tell me something about yourself!
Me: I am in my 10th std. I just gave my boards.
NC: Oh cool! All the best for your results!
ME: Thank you! :)
NC: Do you know Shobha, This is my last show as a VJ.....
Me: WHAT???????
NC: Well yea, you heard me right! I am getting married and I am moving to US of A
Me: Oh no! I will miss you. You my favourite VJ! Please don't leave....
NC: Well Sharon McIntyre, my fiance works with the UN. So after marriage I am moving out of India. She's a wonderful girl! Anyways,Thank you so much! What's your request?
Me: (heartbroken) Dulhan Hum le Jayenge! (Now....before u guys jump to conclusions about my pathetic music taste...Let me tell you what happened.I asked for many songs. But they weren't apparently available. This was the only song that was left to play. So I had no choice...and I was wondering this is SELECT!! wherein we get to hear the songs we want.......dhuhhhhhhhh)
NC: ok, Shobha.....we will play your request. Any dedication?
Me: To my friends, family and U....I ill miss you though!
NC: Thanks a lot Shobha, byeee!!!

Anon: Shobha this episode will be telecasted on March 31st. Check it out then, Byeee!!!
Me: Okies, bye
I hung up the phone!!

First I started screaming. "Amma.......I spoke to Nikhil Chinappa! yayyyyy!" Amma just nodded her head and she went off. Least bit interested. Huh! All she said was "Don't scream, neighbours will think something's wrong with u!" As if I cared! I was very happy. :D :D

That night I kept wondering, What would the show be without Nikhil Chinappa. Dhuh.....I thought he was extremely dumb to leave the channel like this. "Shit, I wud miss him...." These were the thoughts reverberating in my head.

Suddenly flicker flicker *bulb*....*tubelight*.......
Well..if Nikhil Chinappa is quitting the channel, how come its all hush-hush. I mean it would have been all over the papers. (I used to read Bombay Times regularly....not even missing one single day) How could that be possible????? A few days later I read an article/interview on Nikhil Chinappa. But the reporter never asked this question. I was throughly puzzled.

After somedays.......again...flicker..flicker......bulb..tubelight!!!!
I suddenly realised that all these shows are pre-recorded shows. Oh no.....this must be a show for APRIL FOOL's day. Shessssshhhhhhhhhhhh! he made a fool outta me! hell! I hated him then.......I was convinced, that this was a prank. I desperately hoped that it wasn't a prank. My friend would tease me to death otherwise!

27th March was a Monday. I sat down to watch MTV Select! Nikhil Chinappa was in his usual self. Then came the first caller and as Nikhil began chatting with him, he told him how this is his last show and all crap!!! I was all puzzled again!!! But he was talking about it to all the callers. Then I thought, well it might be true after all. Everybody wished him all luck and stuff. I watched the next day too........Again he kept talking about it to all the callers. He became sentimental and taked about how he would miss doing this show which was a part of his life for the 2-3 years and all. I slowly got the feeling that, would not be a prank after all.

Then came the 31st (Friday). I saw the show. heard myself speaking on TV....heheheee! I was all excited. Incidentally, I was the last caller he spoke to. and then there were final sayonaaras, good byes etc. Both me and my friend were very excited. She was even more hapier than me and even jealous coz we were both crazy fans of Nikhil Chinappa!

That night I slept peacefully. I was like how lucky I am! gotta finally talk to him before he's left the channel.

3rd March, Monday: I again tuned into MTV to see who the new anchor would be.....I was all curious... The show started at 4 in the evening and bang.......Who do I see on the screen.............well...None other than NIKHIL CHINAPPA!
NC: well, surprised to see me back? Hmmmm......That was an April fool's prank on all u guys! Happy April fool's day!
I was like shit.........he fooled me!!!, Damn I was an april fool victim again!
My friend had a laughter fit. I wanted to slap her hard, but she continued laughing. Amma laughed the hardest. Dhuhhh.........watta an april fool I was!!!

On second thoughts, y is that people talk about their marriages whenever they wanna play an april fool prank on someone???? Watsay Toro??????? :P :P