Saturday, February 07, 2004

Watta day.....

Today was the last day at work and I was so excited. But I had a crappy start to my day with a fight with my mom over a really silly thing. I left my house in a huff. I reached college only to realise that i had for gotten my purse back home. Huh!!!! Then after searching my bag throughly i gathered some 70 bucks which were in all corners of my bag. I was like ok.....not bad.....can easily manage the day. But I haven't been always lucky like this. Once i hopped into the bus completely oblivious to the fact that i had no wallet with me and that day i even didn't have the extra money. Shit.....had to hop out of the bus immediately with the driver and the conductor staring at me as if something is desperately wrong with me....... hehehehehehe....yea mere top ka floor khaali hain......bilkul...kuch yaad hi nahi rehta!. Once I got into a rickshaw only to realise again that I had forgotten my wallet. After getting at the location, I found my friend who paid for me. I am synonymous with Absentmindedness!!!!

Ok....back to the story.....Then I had a yummy mayonnaise roll (yummmmmm...slurp...delicious........the particular one near my college is the best) for 20 bucks. So now i was left with only 50 bucks. Then after college got over I proceeded to work. It was a strange feeling......last day at work....... Anyways as i neared the station I saw the issue of Tehelka being sold. I couldn't stop myself and I bought both the issues......(Tehelka rocks ppl......plz check out their weekly newspaper) 20 bucks gone. Now I was left with only 30 bucks. I am in the train engrossed reading Tehelka. Suddenly someone tapped on my shoulder. I looked up only to see the ticket checker. God.......she was this huge female. Totally terrifying. She was kind of...well.....fat and on top of that........she had this Black coat over her which made her look devilish.

I was very irritated because I was amidst a very interesting article. Anyways I opened my bag to show her my railway pass and Lo and Behold.......................urs truly discovers that the railway pass has expired 2 days ago and that I have been travelling ticketless since 2 days.............(Wow First I forget my purse and then I forget that my pass had already expired. Huh!……Nut I am nut)

Gosh.......I was like OMIGOD.......ab kya karoon.........I sheepishly handed over my invalid pass to her. Then she goes like,”Aapka pass expire ho gaya hain, bahaar niklo!” (Your pass has expired. You will have to get down now) I was like , there I go……..but I dunno where!) I got down at the next station alongwith the ticket checker and a woman constable. The most amazing thing was I was the only one “caught” in the whole compartment. Huh! So irritating. Then they told me that I will have to pay 60 bucks as the fine. I was like shit! (if you have read the post attentively till now, you will realise that I only had 30 bucks with me now) I told them in a matter of fact tone that I had only 30 rupees with me and that I can’t pay 60 bucks coz I had forgotten my wallet at home. Hearing this they asked me to open my bag and began checking the contents inside. One by one they started checking………I opened my books, my other stuff and showed it to them. Then one of them said,"Ok, so you don’t have the money haan, come with us into the room” I was like room……….why room…….why not here……….Oh god…..are they gonna manhandle me….But why me….Poor me….But nevertheless I followed them meekly.

Once I went inside the room, 2 more ladies came inside; a ticket checker and a woman constable. Now there were two ticket checkers and 2 woman constables inside the room. The room was tiny and a dingy one, very poorly lit. It had a table and a chair. I was asked to check my bag once again. Again the same ritual started. I opened my bag and the contents were left exposed and they bagan pestering me, “The money will be in the bag itself. Just check” I got irritated now. Arrey, my bag, my wallet…….will I not know whether I have money or not. Why wasn’t this thing getting inside their big fat head! Huh!But I thank heavens I did not open my big mouth. She started examining the things again. It was so irritating examining all over again. I just wondered what pleasure she got seeing the things all over again. Maybe she was discovering something new each time she saw the contents. Huh! Weirdos…bigtime! The whole thing toom a few minutes……but I felt as if hours passed by……..I remembered Ashwin’s post on Einstein’s theory of relativity. (of all things I remember that……gawddddddddd)

Then she looked at me and said,” So you don’t have money on you? I will have to prosecute you”. P R O S E C U T E………..O FUCK…..Well You heard it right Shobhs…..they will prosecute now. It was now that it hit me…."Shobha u in deep deep trouble!” I started rambling……Oh.please I am so sorry………This is my first time………I mean first time I have ever been caught! I am sorry I forgot completely.” But she had this horrible look on her face, very similar to the way tigers have when they have their prey before them. All my hope for a reprieve were crushed to pieces. Suddenly she happened to have a look at my college id. She started looking at it all over again. Poori tarah se……(I was like what’s wrong with her…..i thought it was an obsession to examine things again and again) She asks me,"So you study haan?” (Again one of those stupid questions. I felt like answering her, no I do nautanki! Huh! Obviously, I am studying in that college, why else would I have an id of that college with my photograph attached on it! ) But thank heavens again I did not open my big fat mouth. I replied a meek “yes”. She again started looking at the id all over again. I had now completely given up, one crazy woman she was I thought. The she went like,” I am forgiving you now. Just give me the thirty rupees you are having. Don’t do this again” saying this she gave me a receipt. I was like……..Am I hearing what I am hearing???? Yippeeeeeeeeeeee………she did not prosecute me. wowieeeeeeee! I couldn’t believe my ears actually! Anyways I thanked her and left and she grinned……grinned for the first time!

The rest of the day was good. Looks definitely are deceptive. I thought that lady would just roast me alive….but she was a kind hearted soul. My luck…! Happy ending to the otherwise lousy day!

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