I wonder about life....

Well, off late I am talking a lot about my career. Ha....do I really have a choice, especially when I spend more than 12 hrs a day at work. Not that I am complaining...I am enjoying every bit of it. But well...I am gonna talk about something related to work only.

Few days ago one friend of mine told me, I think journos are more grounded than people from any other field. I nodded in affirmation. She then proceeded to narrate her experience as an intern in an ad agency where the prime concern for the people after a hard day's work would be where to party....well, that's not bad, I am not generalising out here. But she just felt it was more of a shallow existence. Anyways, I just began reflecting at our lives in general and over here I mean, a journalists' life in general.

We lead different lives. Every single day is different. One day I could be in a slum, the other day i could be in a highrise apartment. I am some of the very few ones who actually see life very closely. I am happy about the fact. However every day poses to me a new challenge. Some days I meet an AIDS victim, other day an AIDS victim's family. One day I meet an artist, one day I meet a pauper. One day I get a chance to go to a discotheque, another day i go to a municipal school. Still there are days when I go a little beyond Mumbai and I feel, shit, how restricted is my reporting....There are thousands of worlds which live here in Mumbai and lakhs beyond it. Not many report about that, including me. I wonder when I will do that.....one day I shall. There are days I meet a mother who has lost a baby, there are days I meet a mother whose son who tops a race. I see pride and grief in a matter of few hours. Sometimes I wonder how to cope up with such myriad situations I inadvertantly become a part of. Sometimes I wonder what it does to me emotionally. In the past few days I have met two families....one wherein one member committed suicide and one who lost her one day old baby. When i listen to them talk, I am sometimes numb. Most of the times numb infact. I think that's the key to survival. Otherwise we species come across so many problems that we would simply die if we aren't numb. but sometimes I wonder if this numbness would lead to indifference. i hope not coz that's a day I will cease to be a human being :|

I remember one day my colleague told me that he's doing a story about a boy who was spanked so hard by his teacher that he had to be admitted to the hospital. Immediately on hearing the story I went like....Oh shit, poor chap, split second later I go like....Super story man :| Typical journo talk I tell you. I sometimes wonder how insensitive I have become. All in the business I think....every thing is a story. As they say, the system has a way to co-opt u....hmmmmm. Finally I pacify myself saying..."Shobha.....thankfully you didn't go Super story and then poor chap....atleast you had the empathy to say poor chap first...."