Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Patriarchy

I hate patriarchy.....I hate it. i hate it that I live in a society seeped in patriarchal values. Hate it. Yup, i agree, I have full freedom to live the life as I please, but well.....I do not have absolute freedom either and patriarchy is just so immense that one doesn't even know how it has made an impact in our lifestyle, thoughts, beliefs etc.

Some time back, I was at some party wherein there was ample booze. Now there's this acquaintance who offers me a drink which I refused saying that I don't drink. He looked at me with a smile and said, "Acha hain, ladkiyon ko peena bhi nahi chahiye." {Girls should not drink} I was aghast. I asked him the reason behind such a statement. He looked at me with a look that said, 'How dumb, I am suprised that you are even asking that question :|' There was an awkward silence and then he looks at me and says, "Well, acha nahi lagta na...." What do you mean bya cha nahi lagta? Aur kisko acha nahi lagta? I sometimes don't get it. My being a teetotaller has got nothing to do with the fact that I am a woman. I personally do not like it. and I have lot of problems with men or even women for that matter who think I don't drink because of values, culture and all bull shit. This is not the first time I am coming across reactions like these. But still I am appalled everytime I hear reactions likewise.

This article surely sets me thinking.

She was furious about the reported statement of some senior police officers that she should not have gone to the pub alone or had drinks. “Girls who drink are not necessarily of loose character,” she snapped. “We drink to relax, not to get drunk. It does not give a guy the licence to rape.”

Precisely the point I wanted to make across. It is sad that in our country, even the socalled educated lot harbour thoughts like this. The very notion that women boozing is bad, unmoralistic is what promtps these stupid men to make statements like these when they themselves have no qualms in getting drunk to glory. Blooody arseholes....

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine when I casually asked him if he misses having a sister in his life {he doesn't have any}. He replied in an affirmative. But later added that, having a sister would have meant lot of tensions in his life. I wondered how and asked him. he said that well, I would have been over-protective about her. I personally wouldn't like if she had a boyfriend......I went saying.....How hypocritical :| "You can be a casanova, but she can't have a boyfriend?" He coolly replied yes and walked away. He's a nice chap but I just wondered at the varied thought processes and beliefs people have. In India, over-protectiveness is glorified. I think over-protectiveness is just a masked verion of hypocrisy, it just reeks of it. Being over-protective doesn't mean denying freedom and basic rights to your sister. What applies to you applies to her as well. But some people don't understand it and suprisingly some girls understand it neither.

Well, I have to rush now.....I just had to type this out. But more to follow later, in the next post.

6 comments:

death said...

very thoughtful, true and frank. and ferocious too

wormtongue said...

is correct...

Wig-nes said...

Will have to be careful while offering you a drink. High chances of getting PMS Blasting :-s

Anand said...

I dont agree. You see we guys are not at our sensitive best in most situations, especially not 'in a party with ample booze' and talking of missing a sister, would completely confuse the best of us. I think you are being a bit harsh here, but I guess you are still young and have time...
...At the risk of sounding like a "condescending arsehole" :)

Anirudh said...

I can't understand why parents or brothers are overprotective of the girls in the family either. I have been told by my friends- both boys and girls- that I will never understand. Well..

Noorali Surani said...

hey girl, kaisi hai. thought about starting to blog regularly, and almost impulsively came to see yours. And I see hmmmm, some serious thinking.

You are absolutely right that the patriarchal thinking is deeply ingrained in the world system, perhaps much more pronounced in eastern society. Its perhaps in large to do with the eastern notion that females are the honour of the family. They are guarded more as an object, again in the name of family honour, and this to me is the root cause. Unless something is done about this root cause or psyche, taaab taak any improvemnt is gonno be a bit tough.