Friday, June 11, 2004


Well, I may be ruffling some sentiments of relegious people through post and if I do, I really DONT CARE!

BBC mama who lived opposite my building passed away yesterday night. He was named as BBC mama coz his wife was a centre of all news, local gossip etc. So since she is BBC mami, he automatically became BBC mama. It was kind of a shock for me coz I had seen BBC mama just a day prior to his death standing by the balcony with his wife and just generally yapping away. Well.....strange are the ways of life....*sigh*

Since BBC mama was a tam-bram, there would be elaborate post-death rituals spread around 13 days. I tell you, being a tam-bram myself, one's life is filled with whole crap of rituals. Some of the rituals are cute but there are equal number of useless, despicable rituals too. Now this post-death rituals will involve lot of crappy stuff which will basically only make the widow feel how unfortunate she is. This just rubs salt over the wounds. Already the poor lady would be grieving over her husband's death, y do u need more rituals to make her feel even more sick and sad! I have argued with some ppl in my family regarding this.....the standard answer that u wud get is that"I know its tough on the part of the wowman, but then some things need to be done." Hullo.....I don't agree with u. Things need not be dont just for the sake of being done. Crap! I have seen many a times woman who have lost their husbands refuse to attend some marriages and even if they do, they would never be forthcoming to wish the bride and the bridegroom just coz she would be doomed as inauspicious. Hullo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really don't get it. I hate such stupid rituals. The saddest part is even educated people too follow them just coz everybody else is doing the same. Questioning is wrong, U never question things which people have been doing for ages.....BULL CRAP! One educated lady (MBA) once told me there must be some reason behind the rituals, we should respect our forefathers and our elders and do as they say. Hullo......I don't see any reason in some stupid rituals like these. At times like these I really think how useless the education has been.

Ritually, a woman is doomed if she doesn't have a husband b'coz the whole identity of her existence is determined by the existence of her husband. It is tough on the woman b'coz there would be loads of festivals and stuff in which she wouldn't be allowed to participate any longer. She would be ignored just coz she's a widow. Seriously, there can't be any more mean thing than this! But widows in india have to face it, social segregation! No, things have not changed........its a joke that we are in 21st century.

I was volunteering at the WORLd SOCIAL FORUM when I happened to meet a Canadian lady who worked with an NGO. We began chatting and she told me how lovely she found India. Well, I thought that's such a cliched comment. But she continued talking. She said," I love the colour here. Indians are so much in touch with their traditions, culture. Its amazing, its beautiful. Canada u know, is culturally empty. We Canadians are culturally bankrupt people. USA, Hollywood movies are the only sources of culture. We don't have anything which is culturally unique only to us and we really miss it. I really envy you guys in that matter." I really thought what she said made sense. India is culturally vibrant. I love it for that. But I feel we need culture, traditions, rituals to be happy and not to make people sad and despise themselves.

I just don't feel nice today...:(

1 comment:

Shobha said...

I, Me and Media!

BlogBack Closing 13th October 2005.

Makes a lot of sense, Shobha!
Culture and tradition should not in anyway interfere with a particular person's right to live like any other normal person

2004-06-11 09:00

Thought provoking article as usual Shobha! I agree with your sentiment completely - there are many rituals that are not in keeping with modern day value systems. I also see the other side to some extent too though: it's really hard for a society to shift thinking in some areas - and in many ways this is possibly the thing that defines "strong culture" - but I would agree wholeheartedly that some shifting does need to occur in those areas of ritual that play to the antithesis of gender equality.

2004-06-11 13:25

hey!….i have a lot lot to say here…..i totally completely agree with u!……waito for my comment…will b bk.

2004-06-11 18:25

I agree with you in toto, being a tam-bhram myself..i know how the whole custom about any damn thing and every damn thing works!!!!….